"Those Are The Guys You Want To Avoid": Women Are Sharing The Dating Tips They Were Influenced By Other Women To Follow
Recently, I asked the women of the BuzzFeed Community to share the dating tips they learned from other women, and they're super insightful. Here are some of the tips and advice that you might want to keep in mind the next time you go on a date:
1."Order a big meal and eat as much as you want. If your date has an opinion on the quantity or 'healthiness' of the food you consume, move on."
2."My mom said to me once: 'Women seem to be so focused on trying to get a guy to like them that they never pay attention to whether they even like the guy.' It was like an explosion in my brain because I realized that that was my mistake. After she told me that, I stopped dating for a while and really got to know myself. The first man I dated afterward will be my husband this June. Wild!"
3."Ladies, I promise you: It's better to find out your date's political affiliation sooner rather than later. Don't be afraid to ask."
4."One tip I got from a friend of mine is to write out a list of qualities that you want in a prospective partner. Then, beside each quality, write down a person you know who exemplifies that quality the best. My friend did this and has now been happily married for a few years. I think it definitely helps you realize what you want out of someone."
—Anonymous
5."Don't drink on the first date. Not only do you want to keep your wits about you, but the way a guy reacts to you not drinking can speak volumes. Some guys get really upset when their date doesn't want to drink, and those are the guys you want to avoid going on a second date with."
6."Listen to your first impression, even if it doesn't make sense at the time. It could take you 20 years to figure out what your subconscious picked up on that made you initially wary. Don't give into the 'I'll give them a chance' nonsense. So many women end up in a bad relationship because they didn't listen to the initial urge of something not being right because they felt like they owed that person a chance. You don't."
—Anonymous
7."Ask what podcasts they listen to. These are wild times — you can tell whether or not they're the person for you by that alone."
8."Always tell someone where you are going and who you're meeting with. God forbid anyone ends up missing, but it's best to be safe."
9."It might seem obvious, but you never know: don't go to an isolated area like hiking or something as a first or even second date. You're not being paranoid, you're being safe."
10."Even if you are insecure, DO NOT show the person you're dating that side of you. Walk, act, and behave like you're confident. Stand tall. Confidence is everything, and it'll take you far. Even if you're not the most confident in the world, fake it until you make it. Acting confidently will make you the most magnetic person in the room."
—Alayna, 26, Pennsylvania
11."I learned from my friend to pay attention to how the person you're dating talks about their exes. It's very telling."
12."My mom told me never to date the same man twice. People don't change. I shared that advice with my students, but I expanded with not dating the same type of person twice, too."
13."Always drive separately and meet at the location. If it's a bad date or if he's a creep, you don't have to worry about him driving you back and knowing where you live."
14."Get a Google phone number to use whenever you go out. It's separate from your cellphone number. If my girls and I are out and a guy asks for any of our numbers, we give out our Google number instead of our real one. Stay safe, ladies!"
—Sydney, 24
15."My mom was a waitress, so I always closely watch how guys treat the waitstaff — how he tips, if he's respectful, etc. I feel like it's very telling of what kind of person someone is by how they treat service workers."
16.Lastly: "My mom gave me the best advice before she passed away: 'Romance doesn't have to be sparks and fireworks because those eventually fizzle out. It's when you know you can trust someone, and they make you laugh — that's when you know they'll be enough.' I've found that 'settling' can imply a lot of negative things when in a relationship, but sometimes, being settled means your routines work alongside each other and are ultimately headed in the same direction. If you constantly look for a great, romantic love story, you'll never be happy with what you have."
—Anonymous
Unfortunately, the podcast tip is extremely real. If you're a woman, what dating tip have you learned from another woman that you'd like to share? Let us know in the comments, or you can anonymously submit your story using this form!
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.