How Many Oysters Is Too Many Oysters to Order on a First Date?
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We’ve all been there. Standing at the bar sandwiched between the restless, thirsty masses. You’re not quite sure what to order, and you want to ask the bartender for a recommendation. But you don’t want to bother them, and you need to be fast. You try to make eye contact. Flash a twenty, or maybe even dare a slight wave. Do they see you? Or are they purposefully ignoring you?
This is what you can expect on a night out at a local hot spot.
Of course, it wasn't always like this. Conversations with your bartender used to be as medicinal as the concoctions they were serving. (Remember the classic sitcom, Cheers?) Sometimes you’d get a listening ear, or maybe you’d get some hard truths made easier to swallow with a stiff drink. But such chats have become harder to come by.
That just doesn't sit right with me. So I set out to get the undivided attention of the people behind the best drinking establishments in the country—bartenders, owners, mixologists, and more. I wanted to bend their ear, and ask them the most pressing dining and drinking questions I could think of. Like, what drink should I order to impress my date? Do I want a wet or a dry martini? How do you make the perfect Negroni? Are you flirting with me or just trying to get a good tip? Is it actually cool to send a drink to someone across the bar?
My first stop on this journey was at Tusk Bar. Named one of Esquire's Best Bars of 2024, Tusk Bar is nestled into the coquettishly lit art-deco inspired lobby lounge of the Evelyn Hotel in NoMad, Manhattan. I pulled Tristan Brunel aside for a quick chat on what cocktails pair best with fresh oysters and why he calls Tusk Bar a “two headed monster.” Plus, we finally nail down the age old question—how many oysters is too many oysters to order on a first date?
This conversation has been edited for clarity and length.
ESQUIRE: How did you get into bartending?
TRISTAN BRUNEL: I started bartending 15 years ago, when I was in Gainesville, Florida. It's where I grew up, but my dad was a restaurant manager, so I started as a dishwasher when I was 16. I ended up becoming a bar back when I was 20, and then promoted to bartender at 21 at one of the few places with a cocktail program in Gainesville. Then I moved to New York, and took this accidental side road of managing bars. I was moonlighting for a couple of iconic bartenders, one being Ben Rojo, who was working at The Dead Rabbit and Clover Club for a long time. Then I worked with Ben at the George Washington Bar for a few years.
How did you decide on what the vibe would be like at Tusk Bar?
When I took this job, a huge part of it was the kitchen [helmed by Nick Hatsatouris and Michelin-starred chefs Jeremiah Stone and Fabian von Hauske]. A lot of cocktail bars have forgotten about the food. I loved the idea that we'd have this two headed monster of a great kitchen and a great bar. When I heard about the raw bar and seafood, I was like, we have to have martinis. Knowing what the kitchen was going to do gave me a nice jumping off point.
What cocktails do you recommend people pair with oysters?
Martinis are the obvious answer. There are two that jump out the most on our menu. The Mignonette Gibson was created for that purpose. I think it's a great drink on its own, but it really shines when you have that back and forth action of the oyster and the mignonette. It’s a little bit briny, a little bit sweet, so you don’t even need a topping on your raw oyster. Just take a sip of that. But secondly, the Hail Caesar cocktail that we do here is my favorite, because it gives you that Bloody Mary-like flavor profile, and we really pack it with a bunch of fun ingredients like garlic and mustard seed and cilantro. It is almost like a substitute for a cocktail sauce.
What were your thoughts when you developed the new menu?
We wanted it to be seasonal. It'll be more like the mood that we're in, and what we want to drink at this time of year. But we're working on a cocktail that's like a beet, raspberry and chocolate situation. It'll be a long drink with earthy notes. And we're doing a new milk punch. It's going be like a little carrot cake milk punch.
How does someone become your favorite bar patron?
Someone who is curious and open to trying new things. I had a father and son come in the other day and they said they just wanted to try different drinks. They asked for a recommendation, and they were super open minded. I like when someone is eager to be there and experience what we do and trust us to play around. It's always nice when someone knows exactly what they want, but then there's much less of conversation. But it's fun to introduce people to a new riff on something they already like so they can go to a different bar in the future and order it.
If you take a date to Tusk Bar, what should you order to impress them?
I'm a huge fan of the seafood tower. You're getting a lot of fun items and variety—a few oysters, shrimp cocktail, tuna tartare, and it feels romantic. It's a fun shareable order. It's playful and elegant.
Have you ever seen that TikTok of the woman in Atlanta who ate 48 oysters by herself on a first date? And her date only ordered one drink, so when the bill came he ran off. How many oysters do you think is too many to order on a date? Would you give someone props or cut them off if they tried this at Tusk Bar?
I'd probably give her props. I knew a guy who worked at Chelsea Market, and he would tell me stories about people who order like 24 and then 24 and end up eating 60 oysters. I'd be somewhere between impressed and like, are you ok? I don't know if I could do more than 24, because I'd be thinking about how many of those are together in your stomach. But honestly if I saw that at Tusk, I'd be goddamn impressed. I'd say all your drinks are on me. And fuck that guy, you need to find someone who can handle your oyster intake.
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