How to effectively rest and recuperate over a long weekend break

SINGAPORE — We are all familiar with the hustle and bustle of modern life, and that sinking feeling of restlessness from endless deadlines and tasks.

Quality rest is important to upkeep one's personal well-being, so how can we truly rest when we go on a break from work?

With five possible long weekends from public holiday dates next year, Yahoo Southeast Asia spoke with investment professional-turned-psychotherapist Qi Zhai-McCartney from Alliance Counselling on how to make good use of your long weekend or off days to effectively recuperate.

1. Balance your 'uppers' and 'downers'

Over her many years of experience, Qi discovered that people who are high achievers and performers, or prone to high stress and anxiety, usually engage in high-intensity leisure activities.

"They go from working in an intense job to training for a marathon or a ski trip. When they have an hour off, they'll go do a high intensity workout or run on the treadmill," shared Qi.

She identified that engaging with more "upper" activities could be a symptom of anxiety and a need to "do a lot" to feel good.

The problem, however, lies in constantly stimulating one's nervous system into overdrive. Qi recognises that it is instinctive in human nature to keep going in one direction, from one adrenaline-inducing activity to another until we hit overdrive.

Her solution: balancing "uppers" with some "downers". These include taking a nap, attending a yoga class, getting up early to go on a hike with family or friends and taking a walk.

Contrary to belief, Qi does not recommend meditation as a starting point, as it is potentially difficult to stay silent and stationary for individuals who are used to moving and accomplishing many things.

Conversely, for individuals used to "downer" activities, Qi recommends building a community and reaching out to others to help one engage with more "upper" activities, like asking one person out for lunch or coffee.

Qi shared that emotions are sometimes better regulated in a community and in social settings.

"You see this clearly with babies and mothers. When the baby smiles, the mummy smiles; when the baby cries, the mummy also looks sad," she explained. "There is something biological in us that takes comfort in seeing another creature of our species respond to us emotionally in the same way."

2. Check in with yourself and meditation

The second tip is to check in with yourself by recognising what you have done and are doing - the basis of meditating.

With meditation, the key idea is to be aware of your thoughts but not talk or engage with them, and in doing so, counter rumination.

"I think most people get stuck with meditation because they say, 'I'm not supposed to have thoughts'," Qi said.

"The minute they have a thought they're like, 'That's it. I can't do 10 minutes of this.' Instead, meditation is noticing you're having a thought, and letting it come and go, instead of ruminating over it."

There are both physical and mental health wellness benefits to slowing down five minutes at a time. For beginners embarking on meditation, Qi advises against setting ambitious targets which may not allow them to form a habit over time.

"I say to people who are interested in meditation, set five minutes just to sit and be still and watch what's going through your head," she said.

"You might remember a dream, you might remember something that you need to do for today. But what happens when you don't actually do anything about it? You just let the thought come and go. It buys you a bit more space to breathe and to realise that it's okay to slow down."

Another alternative is to find an audio-guided meditation through apps like Headspace, which may be helpful for people who struggle with silence. Breathing techniques can be used such as counting to four when you inhale, and then counting to four when you exhale. By doing that for just 10 times, Qi says you have meditated for a meaningful amount of time.

One can also engage in walking meditation, where you count your steps up to 10 and back down to one, then repeat. The act of engaging in something simple like counting keeps you from having busy conversations inside your head.

In the field of psychology, rumination is understood to be the cause of many anxiety and depressive symptoms. It starts with something that is troubling you, leading you to feel bad, and then 'feeling bad about feeling bad,' so on and so forth.

The more you ruminate, the bigger the problem gets. It can be helpful to say to yourself, 'I notice I'm feeling stressed' even if there is nothing you can do to change the situation in that moment. You can stop at simply noticing a negative feeling and not telling yourself a more elaborate story, like 'Why am I feeling stressed? My colleagues don't seem stressed. Am I bad at my job?' This kind of internal monologue often creates more negative emotions that last longer.

3. Do a digital and social media detox

These days, it is so easy to scroll mindlessly on social media without putting a thought to how your content consumption habits can influence your wellbeing.

Qi suggests doing a social media or digital detox — taking time off from social media apps for a short time and observing where your attention goes. It could be a day, a few days or even a week.

"A couple of times a year, I remove Facebook, Instagram, and social media apps from my phone to reset. Within days, I notice that not having the constant stimulation of pictures and short videos changes my attention span. I'm able to sit down and read a hard-cover book for longer periods of time. I spend more time talking to my kids rather than constantly scrolling my phone. I can focus on work better, too."

Laying out the number of hours you spend on digital apps and social media can also help put things into perspective. These days, tracker apps are available to help monitor your activity and time spent on digital devices.

"Social media really pushes you to constantly be doing something, be looking good and be posting something. You're just scrolling like a lab rat running on a wheel," Qi explained.

"It can feel like everybody else is living fabulously and you're kind of the loser. But in reality, everybody is only giving you the nicest sliver of their lives on social media."

So the question to ask yourselves: what are you filling your work break with? Long weekends or time off should be spent doing nourishing activities that help you get in touch with yourself and get the quality rest quality rest - physical and mental - that you need.