How to talk to your children about sexual consent
Nearly every parent knows just how uncomfortable it is to broach the conversation of sex with their children - but new figures show that it is more vital than ever for parents to have the awkward conversation with their kids.
A shocking report by the National Police Chiefs Council (NPCC) has revealed that more than half of child sexual abuse offences recorded in 2022 were committed by other children. Data from 42 police forces in England and Wales shows that 52% of child sexual abuse offences reported that year involved a child aged 10 to 17 as a suspect or a perpetrator.
According to the BBC, senior officers say the abuse includes “exploratory behaviour” that children under the age of 18 might not realise is illegal, as well as rape. A portion of the cases involve teenagers sexting - which is the act of taking and sharing nude images within consensual relationships.
But the data also shows a rise in direct physical abuse and crimes involving indecent images. The most common offences committed by under-18s were found to be sexual assault on a female (15%), rape of a female under 16 (12%), and taking, making or sharing indevent images.
The 2022 figure is a significant increase from a third of cases recorded in 2013. Police have blamed the rise in abuse on increased access to violent pornography and smartphones.
Ian Critchley, national policing lead for child abuse protection and investigation, urged parents to have “uncomfortable conversations” with their children about sex and sexual abuse, pointing to the data as proof there is a need for parents to step up.
“It’s a crime to take, make, share or distribute an indecent image of a child that is under 18, whether that’s in a consensual relationship or not,” he told the BBC. “It’s really important that young people understand that.”
He added: “The public wouldn’t expect us to criminalise young people which would have an impact on the rest of their lives, but it’s important we understand the totality of this to make sure the police response is right.”
Have regular conversations about relationships
Starting a conversation about sex and relationships with your children might sound embarrassing and awkward, but it is hugely important for parents to provide their kids with an open platform to talk about these subjects.
Once you start talking about it, it’s vital to have regular check-ins and discussions about any topics related to sex - including sexual consent, pornography, sexting, and everything in between.
Commenting on the report, a spokesperson for the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children tells Yahoo UK: “The data revealed in this report is significant and although it is typical for children to display some sexualised behaviour as they grow up, sometimes this behaviour can be harmful to themselves and others.
“At the NSPCC we believe that it is vital that children have regular conversations with safe adults about healthy relationships to help keep them safe.
“If you are concerned about a child, the NSPCC has online resources that can help with understanding harmful sexual behaviour, as well as helpful advice on what to do if there’s been an incident and how you can support children impacted.”
How to start talking about sex
The NSPCC’s advice for parents is to start laying the foundations for having regular conversations about healthy relationships and how to stay safe from abuse both online and offline from a young age.
It recommends its “PANTS rule”, which is a “simple method that parents can use to have this conversation in an age appropriate way with younger children”.
PANTS stands for:
P: Privates are private
A: Always remember your body belongs to you
N: No means no
T: Talk about secrets that upset you
S: Speak up, someone can help
The charity adds: “It's also important to make sure children and young people know who the safe adults are in their life and who they can turn to if something does happen. It’s important this includes adults outside of home that they can speak to about their worries, such as school or Childline.
“Additionally, you can ask your child's school to sign up for an NSPCC Speak out Stay safe assembly for primary school children. Our specially trained staff and volunteers workshops, covering topics like bullying and abuse in an age appropriate way.”
If you are concerned that your child may have been abused by a peer or they may be exhibiting harmful sexual behaviour, the NSPCC Helpline is available at 0808 800 5000 or you can email help@NSPCC.org.uk
Read more about sex and relationships:
'I’m a sexpert: Here's why you need to start talking to your kids about sex' (Yahoo Life UK, 4-min read)
Why Christmas could be the best time to talk to children about sex (Yahoo Life UK, 7-min read)
What are parenting classes and are they beneficial? (Yahoo Life UK, 3-min read)
