Zhao Lusi breaks silence on long battle with depression and bullying
3 Jan - Zhao Lusi has decided to open up about her ailment by admitting that she has been suffering from depression for a long time.
On 1 January, the actress, who has been hospitalised since 27 November due to aphasia, took to Weibo and said that she has decided to talk about her condition after thinking it through for the past few weeks.
"In 2019, I became depressed and said, 'Don't make a fuss about it. Everything will be fine if you think positively.' I also felt that I was too pretentious and sensitive and did not pay enough attention to my psychological problems. In 2021, I felt like there were bugs crawling on my body and a feeling of being pricked by needles, accompanied by allergies. I went to the hospital to get medicine and injections, but the symptoms did not improve. Then I found a psychologist and started treatment to relieve emotional tension."
Zhao said that in 2023, she even experienced pneumonia, emphysema, pityriasis rosea, urticaria, night sweats, neurological deafness and other ailments, but that due to other tragic events around her like the death of relatives and cancer diagnosis, it made her think that those were more important than her own condition and she continued to ignore the symptoms.
"In 2024, I began to experience frequent dry retching, dizziness, joint pain, cervical pain, etc., and obvious somatic symptoms and aggravation of allergies. At that time, I thought it was caused by the normal side effects of taking allergy targeted drugs," she said.
Zhao said that she was taught from early on that it was normal to be hit and beaten for not studying well. Thus, she let her management company blamed and berated her whenever she failed to get a role in a drama and dared not make a fuss. It, however, only aggravated her condition.
"I have never mentioned this disease before, and I don't want to turn the illness into the so-called 'hype' it is now. However, now that things have come to this, I want everyone to know more: Depression is an emotion, but depression is a disease. It is no longer something that can be solved by 'thinking more open-mindedly' or 'speaking out'... Whether you are truly 'understood' is not important, and you will continue to be in the vortex of discussion, constantly proving yourself but unable to save yourself. It is really important to understand mental illness and attach importance to psychotherapy. Regret is a useless emotion... I am grateful for all the care because love has lived again. I wish you all a happy new year and happiness every day."
Prior to her post, Zhao's friend had released a statement saying that the actress had been subjected to abuse by her management company since 2019, which worsened her condition. She stated that Zhao was berated for failing to land a role, as well as be criticised for her weight, and that her boss has constantly put her down.
(Photo Source: Zhao Lusi Weibo)
