People Are Sharing Their Stories Of How "The One" Turned Into "The Ex," And It's Honestly Scary To See How Some People Change Up
Earlier this month, we asked the BuzzFeed Community: If you ever thought you found "the one," just to end up single again, what happened? The responses were soul-crushing. Here are some of the stories that people shared.
Some entries have been edited for length and clarity.
1."Everything was going so well until he self-sabotaged. Suddenly, a relationship was too much, and I deserved better. He didn't like asking for help and didn't want to put me through his 'drama' even though I was willing to be his partner 100%."
2."Met him in high school, became best friends, he asked me out a few years later, we dated for two and a half years, and he proposed! I was so excited and so in love. Then I found out he assaulted multiple girls at college parties by drugging them. I broke it off and filed a restraining order after he began threatening me. I NEVER could have known. I thought he was the most respectful man ever. I'm over it, and now, I'm dating someone amazing. :)"
3."I didn’t want him to regret his life with me so I left."
—Cas
4."He became a Trump supporter, solid MAGA! Oh, hell no!"
5."My husband and I met through online dating before it was cool, and we fell in love so fast. We got married two years later, then bought a house and had a kid. It was all pretty amazing. We had issues and baggage we had to deal with, but we learned and grew together, and we were so incredibly happy. Neither of us had been in a healthy long-term relationship before, but it was so easy together. We just fit together so perfectly, it was literally like a dream come true. And then he got sick. And a year later, I lost him. My son lost the most incredible father. Now a year out from that, I'm still trying to sort out life as a single person and single mom, and I hate it. I miss having my best friend with me every day."
6."We met at work during COVID and talked a lot on breaks and lunches before going on an actual date. She took me on a trip for my 30th birthday, and I couldn’t have imagined a life without her. After two years, she started hinting at marriage, and I was working up that. 6 months later, she told me that we didn’t have the same values and that I don’t communicate (I was ashamed of past traumas I had and didn’t want to burden her). I was utterly heartbroken. I was planning to propose to her at Christmas in front of her family because I knew how much her family meant to her. Try as I might I’ll always love her."
7."On the night of my bachelor party, my fiancé disappeared and took off with another man. Turns out she suffered from severe Borderline Personality Disorder. BPD sufferers will 'mirror' the other person, aka the Chameleon Effect. People with BPD struggle with a sense of self and adopt characteristics of new lovers to form an identity, taking on all their traits, vocabulary, music tastes, essentially mimicking the new SO. Eventually, their personality crashes and immediately elevates a new person, mirroring them while abandoning the other person."
"I was left utterly devastated. I had to confront the fact that my 'one' wasn't a real person and that I had only fallen in love with myself. Beyond the typical being-dumped-hard emotional rollercoaster, coming to terms with the person you thought you loved more than anyone was merely a figment of a mental health disorder really messes with your head."
8."I was dating someone for two years. Everything was fine. We got along well. I took her on a trip to Mexico. We had a wonderful time. At least I thought we did. We returned back to the United States and three days later, she called me and said she wanted to break up the relationship. The reason was because I did not sit by her on the beach in the sun. I’m a Black male, and she's white. I didn’t need a tan. I sat five feet behind her under a canopy, but she still broke up with me. I believe there was much more to it, but she didn’t have the guts to tell the truth. Good Riddance."
9."We had been talking for about seven months before I finally decided to ask him out. He seemed interested in me, and I liked him at the time, so I asked him out. He said yes, but it only lasted a few weeks. One day, out of the blue, he said, 'I don’t like you anymore. It’s embarrassing to be around you, and you're annoying.' We still talk from time to time, but it’s not the same. I’m still single."
10."He was the guy of my manifestations. I was the girl of his dreams. We were both intelligent, intentional, and wanted to properly date and get to know each other. He knew I didn’t want kids before marriage, and we weren’t the safest because he was thought to be infertile from a previous relationship. Well, we got pregnant and had an abortion. I wasn't ready or willing, which he supported. We got past the trying times at first. He was openly Christian while I was an atheist with more spiritual/ancestral beliefs, and over time, he started leaning into ministry and I, a woman of science and nature, couldn’t be his First Lady. We are still very much in love, but no longer together. Who I am to stand between faith?"
11."We had a talk within the first month of getting together about what we wanted and were looking for. At first, we were on the same page. About a year and a half later, I realized that we had vastly different financial statuses. I kept working to make it better and then they would complain about how much I worked and refused to understand that we had different situations. We broke up after two and a half years and now, I’m finally seeing all the red flags that I missed."
12."I thought he was the one until I learned most of what he told me was a lie. The truths began to reveal themselves at about the six-month mark. His demeanor suddenly became manipulative. It ended quickly after that. I feel like I dodged a bullet."
13."I moved into their family home, we had a cat, traveled across Europe, did long distance for about a year, had promised rings and were best friends. We went to colleges 40 minutes apart from one another. One moment, we were playing with our kitten, and the next, I was in an Uber, crying without an explanation. The explanation came a week later via Google Doc. So yeah, I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with this person, and it ended over a Google Doc."
14."I married my older high school boyfriend. He ignored me, cheated on me, isolated me. There was verbal, emotional, and mental abuse. We moved back home after his contract with the army was up. He left shortly after to attend a short-term school in another state. I met someone at a bar when I was blackout drunk, and when I woke up, I knew he was special. We had exchanged numbers that night, and after that…it was crazy."
"I emotionally cheated, but never physically until my husband and I were separated. I moved out of state with him, and thought I was living my dream. I was with an incredible guy, he got me out of my tiny hometown…but he did the same things my ex husband did. But worse. A lot worse. Violence, threats, animal abuse. financial manipulation, stalking, and kicking my doors in when I wouldn't let him in. One day, he ghosted me when I was at work. When I came back to our apartment, nearly everything was gone. Whatever. It sucked for a while, but I felt stronger for it."
15."I dated someone back in college and thought we were perfect for each other. We bonded over so many things and wanted the same type of future. He was respectful, kind, and an advocate for what we both believe is right. I truly thought we’d marry. One day, he broke up with me and didn’t really provide an explanation as to why. Sometimes, I wonder what would’ve happened if we didn’t break up, but I found my soulmate and wouldn’t change a thing."
16."My ex seemed so amazing at first, very loving, sweet, caring but then he started calling me really nasty names, said I'm worthless garbage if I had an opinion, if I didn't 'listen' correctly he'd get childish started pushing me, shoving me off him, calling me names, and he made me lock my cats in a room because they are 'dirty animals.'"
17."I was cheated on by a narcissistic sociopath."
Have you ever been in a relationship that you thought would last but ultimately didn't work out? If you're currently single and dating, what's it been like for you in 2024? Tell me in the comments below.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline is 1-800-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services; GoodTherapy.org is an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE, which routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search for your local center here.
