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Less stress, more joy: 5 simple ways to make the holidays happier

Ashley Broadwater
·5-min read
Baking and cooking can help reduce stress when the goal isn't perfection.
Baking and cooking can help reduce stress when the goal isn't perfection. (Getty Images)

It goes without saying that the holiday season can be an emotional, stressful time of the year. According to a 2023 poll by the American Psychological Association, 89% of U.S. adults feel stressed during the holiday season. Some people may not have a great relationship with their family. Some may be missing loved ones. Others may feel overwhelmed with the stress of affording gifts, holiday travel or making the holiday meal.

Rather than just trying to power through, experts say there are simple things you can do to not only better manage holiday stress but also dial up the delight. Here, psychologists share their favorite research-backed tips to help you create calm and amplify your holiday joy.

“Some of us tend to get swept up in the rush and intensity of the holidays and forget that the coping skills that keep us feeling the most grounded will still work — and are even more important — during times of intense stress,” Amelia Kelley, a trauma-informed therapist, author and co-host of The Sensitivity Doctor podcast, tells Yahoo Life.

Walks in particular are beneficial for several reasons. Walking and being outdoors promote mental and physical health — spending just 20 minutes in nature can reduce stress, for example — along with quality sleep. Walking also activates the parasympathetic nervous system, or the “rest and digest” system, and increases endorphins, a “happy hormone,” she says.

Spending time outdoors also helps regulate our circadian rhythm by exposing us to light, Kelley explains. This can help ward off seasonal affective disorder (SAD), which is often present during the holidays.

While holiday cooking and baking can increase stress for some people, experts say that how you go about it and what your goal is matters. “Preparing the [holiday] meal can be quite stressful when the focus is on perfection versus connection,” Mary Ann Covey, a psychologist with Thriveworks in College Station, Texas, who specializes in coping skills and stress, tells Yahoo Life. To add connection, enlist a loved one to help you cook or bake.

Making a special family recipe can also create a more meaningful experience. “The tradition of passing down family recipes for dishes for the meal or baked goods for dessert allows for an intergenerational experience that connects families to their history and each other,” Covey says.

Science shows that baking and cooking can be mentally healthy hobbies and coping mechanisms. A 2021 study in Frontiers in Psychology found that cooking can mitigate psychological distress. Covey adds how it provides an opportunity to work with others to achieve a common goal and increases feelings of accomplishment and confidence.

The key here: “It is important not to focus on the need for perfection, as that would only increase one’s anxiety and stress,” Covey says. “Allow others to help, to be involved. Again, the goal is connection — not perfection!”

“Gratitude is a powerful way to bring yourself out of negative thinking patterns and into the moment,” Kelley says. She notes that gratitude also increases resilience, can alleviate depression and anxiety symptoms and reduces aggressive thoughts and behaviors.

You can practice gratitude in various ways. Kelley says keeping a journal is one popular method, noting it helps you remember the good and encourages you to look for the positives.

Adjusting your perspective can also be helpful. Kelley gives the example of feeling dread over a pile of laundry that needs folding. “You could look at it as a blessing that you have the family you have to take care of and that you have the clothes to put on your back,” she says.

But even something as simple as expressing your gratitude to someone else or just saying “thank you” can increase connection, Kelley says. It can also boost your mood, reduce stress and even positively affect the immune system.

Covey says being the DJ is her “job” at holiday get-togethers since she’s not a great chef or baker. “I put together playlists or ask guests what they’d like to listen to,” she says. “Making playlists based on your gathering, group or holiday can be a great way to set the mood.”

Music can increase the production of feel-good hormones dopamine and serotonin, as well as decrease cortisol levels. It can also bring up nostalgic feelings, Covey adds, putting people in the holiday mood.

“The choice of music can also be a wonderful conversation starter,” she says, adding it can lead to questions like, “What has been one of your favorite concerts and why?”

There’s something comforting about family holiday traditions, whether it’s watching Elf every year, baking and decorating cookies, volunteering at a soup kitchen or seeing a local annual production of The Nutcracker.

Traditions foster connectedness, build stronger family bonds and provide comfort, says Covey. “Creating traditions and holding onto old ones can be a great way to spend time together as a family and add something a little extra fun to the holiday season,” she says. “Research has also shown that adolescents benefit from practicing traditions or rituals.”

And whether they’re old or new, holiday traditions don’t have to be complicated. “They can be something simple, like everyone gets holiday pajamas on Christmas Eve; or you all hop in the car, grab a hot chocolate and drive around looking at holiday displays,” Covey says.

She adds: “Remember, as kids get older and the family evolves, so can your traditions. Whatever you choose to do, make it something you know your family will enjoy.”

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