Going Through a Breakup? Here are Nine Tips for Moving On
Whether you’re bidding farewell to your cuffing season fling, a complicated situationship, or a long-time partner, breakups— for lack of a better word—suck. Sometimes the split is a long time coming, and others feel like the blindside of the century. Whichever bucket you fall into, there are plenty of healthy ways to move on: from letting yourself wallow in the sadness for a bit, to doing some decluttering or surrounding yourself with friends.
Here are nine tips for conquering a breakup.
Let yourself grieve
You’ve gone through a hard and painful change in life. Throwing strength out the window and letting yourself mourn a loss is a necessary part of moving on. Give yourself a few days to watch sad movies and order takeout in your pajamas to get it all out of your system… but you have to accept that when it’s over, it’s over.
Go to therapy
This one needs no explanation: therapy is an incredibly worthwhile investment, even if you haven't struggled with your mental health in the past. A therapist can help you process everything you’re feeling and navigate the uncharted waters ahead in a healthy way.
Make a playlist
This is a rule I adopt for all of life’s situations. Whatever you’re feeling post-breakup, there’s a song out there that captures it perfectly. Add them to a playlist and put it on in the car or during chores to help you process your feelings. And yes, Taylor Swift's discography is a perfect place to start.
Do a digital declutter
This is a tough but necessary step. The last thing you need when trying to move on is a barrage of your ex’s Instagram photos in your face every time you scroll. Social media apps let you easily remove, mute, or block followers, which are all helpful ways to keep the past in the past. Beyond their profile, consider doing the same for any of their friends and family that may also be triggering.
Out with the old, in with the new
This adage can be adhered to in every facet of your life (except hairstyles, don’t go there). Is there a sweater in your closet that’s tied to a painful memory? Donate it and buy a new one. Are there coupled-up photos in frames around your place? Ask your friends to send photos of their favorite memories with you and swap those out.
Stack your calendar
Let’s pair two more classic sayings together to help you move on: time heals all wounds, and time flies when you’re having fun. Pack your calendar with anything and everything—work meetings, networking events, happy hours with friends, workout classes, the works. You’re not doing it to keep moving as a distraction, you’re investing in yourself and all the good things coming with you post-breakup. Your cup will be full and you’ll be over it in no time.
Date yourself
While surrounding yourself with good people is a great way to move on, it’s also important to spend some time reevaluating your wants and needs. Enter: taking yourself on dates! Go see a comedy show or a new movie alone. Try a new restaurant with nothing more than the company of a journal or a good book. Or even book yourself a relaxing vacation, because those things shouldn’t stop just because a partner is no longer in the picture, and you’ll learn a lot about yourself in the process.
Make any necessary changes ASAP
Especially if your breakup involves a name change, getting ahead of any clerical tasks can help reduce the number of relationship reminders you’ll receive when bills or tax season rolls around. Make a list of anything shared and take the steps to make them your own: things as basic as your favorite streaming service, to services as critical as the electric bill. Also, make sure they're not still your emergency contact anywhere.
Get back on the horse
After you’ve fully let yourself grieve, heal, and find yourself again, it’s time to get back out there. Whether you opt for dating apps or finally approach your gym crush, take the lessons learned from your previous relationship and use them to set a new standard for your future suitors. You got this, bestie!
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