Leslie Jones is disappointed by the near fight that occurred in the Senate on Tuesday, but not because anything Oklahoma Sen. Markwayne Mullin did. No — the comedian’s displeasure has to do with Bernie Sanders breaking things up.
“Back off, Bernie! Bernie, shut up, they was about to fight! I wanted to see that!” Jones said on her second night guest hosting “The Daily Show” on Comedy Central. “Is that what America has come to, people fighting in the Senate? Because if it is, I want in.”
“Lindsey Graham, I want you in the ring. Ted Cruz, bring your weird ass beard so I can beat your ass. Mitch! Mitch! Mitch!” Jones yelled while snapping at the widely shared video of McConnell freezing. “Aw, somebody already hit him.”
On Tuesday, Mullin challenged president of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters Sean O’Brien to a fight over a series of posts on X O’Brien sent to Mullin. Sanders quickly dispelled the confrontation, yelling “You’re a United States senator!”
Jones mocked Mullin, saying that she knew he was “trouble” the second she heard his name.
“His parents didn’t even love him enough to pick one single name for him,” Jones said before adding, “It’s what you hear when you watch an episode of ‘Cops.'”
The comedian didn’t stop at mocking the Senate as Jones also took aim at the Supreme Court at the top of her opening monologue. On Monday, the highest court in the land established and adopted a code for the first time in its history. This change comes in the wake of revelations that Justice Clarence Thomas received gifts and travel from Republican donor Harlan Crow and that Justice Samuel Alito did not disclose a fishing trip with Republican donor Paul Singer.
Jones called the code of ethics “so embarrassing.”
“The Supreme Court went thousands of years without needing an ethics code until these corrupt bastards came along,” she said.
The comedian had little faith this new code will result in any meaningful change, but she does have a suggestion for what will. “If you want to hold people accountable, you have to be able to fire them,” Jones said to a round of applause.
She likened being on the Supreme Court to her time working at UPS. “I did a good job because I could get fired. But if I couldn’t get fired, do you know how many things I would have did to them packages?” Jones said.