How to Behave at a Dinner Party on Ozempic
"Ozempic stole Christmas," so declared the New York Post in a recent story on the reconfiguring of holiday party prep happening across Manhattan, as hosts tailor their menus to accommodate the newly microscopic appetites of their semaglutide-dosing guests. Why bother with an elaborate gourmet presentation if no one will go near it? Beef is out; beets are in. James Villas would turn in his grave.
Not every host this season will be swapping their maple-glazed ham for shrimp cocktail—nor should they be expected to!—but no matter: the persistent ubiquity of these drugs has added yet another landmine of social faux pas to a season notoriously laden with them. While we love this [non-medical] journey for you, please don't turn it into everyone else's problem.
"I had a dinner party recently and the Ozempic people didn’t even pretend to eat the food," says author and T&C contributor Jill Kargman. "Like dude, cut it and push it around at least! They just didn’t eat and I thought it was so rude."
Whether you're shooting up semaglutides or not, it's simply common courtesy to display a proper amount of enthusiasm for whatever food your host has spent the time, effort, and money to prepare. A poor appetite doesn't excuse bad manners. And there are already plenty of bad manners to go around when it comes to dinner party decorum. Here are a few other things to keep in mind as you make the rounds this holiday season. Because surely you want to be invited back next year?
RSVP ASAP.
Tout de suite, if you can. "We've all been on the other side, hosting," says event planner and Fête founder Jung Lee. "Your host will appreciate knowing if you can make it. And if you can't, you really have to tell her as early as possible."
Your ETA is important.
Being early is a virtue in nearly all aspects of life, but most certainly not when it comes to the dinner party. Your host is busy putting the finishing touches on that charcuterie board, lighting the candles, and setting the scene. The last thing she needs is for the doorbell to ring 10 minutes before you're expected. But be on time. As with restaurants, the 15-minute grace period of lateness applies—anything beyond that is rude.
Commit.
If you said you're going to be there, then be there. Illness and emergency are the only acceptable excuses to bail last minute.
The plus one debate...
Shouldn't be a debate at all. There is no ambiguity: You're only golden if your invitation explicitly states that plus ones are welcome and you have RSVPed for two. Asking after the fact whether you can bring someone? Not great, but your host will likely be gracious enough to allow it. Texting her last minute if you can bring a guest? Not okay. Showing up with your aunt and her dog? Really not okay. And while we're on the subject of pets, just because you think yours is the most adorable little thing in the world that should accompany you everywhere doesn't mean your host has to feel the same way (she probably doesn't).
Bring something.
While the prevailing opinion is that you should never arrive at a dinner party sans host gift, what exactly that gift should be is always a matter of fierce debate. Kargman likes to send flowers ahead of time. "It feels more festive than another bottle of wine or a candle," she says. We at T&C have no objections to wine, candles, or the sort of things that tend to feel like they've come straight out of the regift pile—as long as it's done right.
Dress up.
If the invitation outlines a dress code, adhere to it. But even if there are no specific parameters, please make an effort. And be respectful of expectations. "Every home has different policies about shoes on or shoes off," Lee says. "It's not about you, like 'Oh, my shoes are part of my outfit.' Well too bad, you're at somebody's house."
Mind your table manners.
"I hate when people start eating before everyone has sat down," Lee says. Don't be that guy. Instead, keep your phone off the table and be an engaging and sociable conversationalist. "But don't dominate or monopolize the conversation," she says. "And obviously avoid politics and religion." Want to go the extra mile? Toast your host: "It's nice to acknowledge how hard she's worked."
Don't snoop!
Do unto others...
Practice gratitude.
A hand-written thank you note is de rigueur, but Kargman takes it a step farther. "The next morning as a place holder I send a HiNote [the app for texting on beautiful stationery] immediately saying a proper note is on its way but I couldn't wait to say how special the evening was and how appreciative I was to be there."
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