This text from an ‘emotionally intelligent dad’ to his daughter after a breakup is going viral
Connecting with your child—especially in the teenage and early adulthood years—doesn’t always come naturally to every parent. But fostering a sense of emotional intelligence and meeting your kid where they’re at will likely be one of the things they’ll cherish most about your bond, as evidenced by one recent viral TikTok post about a breakup.
College student Fallon Thompson shared a photo slideshow that began with a crying selfie with the caption, “POV: You just got dumped in your driveway and your dad saw the whole thing.”
Fallon’s dad Scott (who now has his own TikTok with a perfect username: @mykidzaredope) responded with a lengthy and heartfelt text to his daughter, offering some perspective from her “old man.” In the text, he shared that he’s had lots of relationships, including one-night stands, flings, friends with benefits, girlfriends, live-in girlfriends, all before he met Fallon’s mom.
“I can say with certainty that when I met her, it was instantly different,” he wrote. “I can also say that I knew it was different because I went through those other experiences.”
He noted that heartbreak can be “necessary in order for you to one day be able to discern when a person is really right for you.”
“I can also say that even though I was broken up with, and in one instance I was cheated on, it was worth it, to get where I am now,” he added.
“Looking back, I do not for one second ever wish I could still be with any of those other ladies,” he continued, even though he’d been heartbroken and felt he would never recover or he’d be alone forever. “I promise you, that is not your future,” he said.
“Some of the best advice I will ever give you is this… When someone lets you know that you are not for them, deal with the pain and the hurt with the knowledge that this person just gave you back the most valuable thing in the world—your time,” he explained, advising her to “be grateful for the experience you had with that person” and for the good times shared together.
“And then rejoice in the knowledge that your life is still completely yours and you have not wasted it shackled to someone that did not completely want you.”
In perfectly fitting dad form, he ended with an analogy about cows and bulls. “There are cows and bulls in this life. When a cow sees a storm, they run away from it. What ends up happening is they end up being tortured by the storm longer as they are actually keeping themselves in the storm longer,” he shared.
“However, when a bull sees a storm, they run towards it, facing the onslaught head on,” he continued. “Initially, it’s terrible but they are strong, and they can weather the storm, and because they ran towards it, the storm passes them quickly, and they are soon in a peaceful place.”
He ended by encouraging her to “be the bull,” concluding, “Lean into your storm, embrace the suck, and let it fill you up. You are strong enough to endure, and very soon you will be at peace. Still on your path, achieving your goals, and with all of your time still in surplus. Love Dad.”
According to recent Pew Research, older and younger millennial parents tend to value positive parenting over authoritarian discipline, and they value togetherness. They also believe they are more present with their children than their parents were. Basically, research is showing that nurturing fathers are raising emotionally intelligent kids.
The vulnerable post quickly racked up 15.5 million views and nearly 31,000 comments from users who were touched by Scott’s compassion and emotional intelligence. In a world where men aren’t always taught to express their emotions or are shamed for even having them, we need more dads like Scott to lift their children up when they’re at their lowest and buoy them with love.
In response to the feedback, Fallon shared photos of Scott with his family, and it really seems like they hit the jackpot with him as a dad. We all deserve a dad like Scott, and to be seen, heard, and loved exactly for who we are and where we’re at.
