Being Single is Fun


While being in a relationship can have its own charms, most people agree that being single is the best romantic situation possible.

So for all you dumped and weeping souls, brings you a list of reasons why being single is a good thing.

1. Thy Will Be Done!

One look at those poor blokes in a relationship is enough to bring to mind the evils of slavery. A relationship is nothing but bondage, and not even the sexy kind. You constantly need to seek approval from your spouse or girlfriend for everything under the sun, from what tie you should be wearing to what food you should be eating. One can cite examples of some wretched souls who cannot even urinate without seeking permission first. Is that a kind of life you want for yourself? Being single means that you are the master of all you survey, the sole captain of your ship. You can blissfully roll out of bed in the late afternoon, without having to endure a nagging partner belting angry sopranos about your irresponsibility. No one will ever tell you to tuck your shirt in if you don’t want to. Nobody shall wish to correct you if you wish to fling your towel on the bed, and leave it there. You will be the God of your own space. Sweet, isn’t it?

2. No Awkward ‘We-Need-To-Talk’ Moments

While men around the world claim to be fearless in every respect, when it comes to talking about ‘where this relationship is going’ they all end up cowering in desolate corners, praying for their dear lives. What can one say? If this truly was a patriarchal society, then the dear patriarchs would have abolished this evaluation altogether. This situation is awkward in innumerable ways. Women borderline emotional wrecks and a single wrong gesture can have them emptying their tear glands for dear life. Let’s face it, men are averse to emotions. Neither do they indulge in crying nor can they handle criers well. Being single means never having to deal with situations like these. The only time you get to tear up is when you laugh really hard.

3. Gawk at Anyone

Women do not understand the beauty of being endowed with sight. Having sight means having the ability to stare at anything under the sun like the hills, the vales, the rippling rivers, a beautiful day and even the sensuous feminine contours along the back of an attractive lady. Staring isn’t a crime. It is simple, satisfying and far from illegal. It is just one of the few perks that a guy gets to enjoy and thanks to our ‘loving’ partners, even this is rendered undoable. What is left to enjoy if men cannot visually feast on feminine beauty? Being single means having no one to shoot dirty looks at you for letting your eyes roam astray, leaving you to feel as happy as a hungry bunny in a field full of carrots.

4. Rampant Bed Space

Woe to the girlfriend who sleeps on the pretence of kicking her morbidly tired partner all night! Women have the most annoying habit of controlling everything in sight. They will tell you how to stand, how to move and even how to sleep! Some are paranoid enough to demarcate bed space clearly. One can regale the male population with fearful predicaments of the men who dared to bypass the meticulously set borders, but why scare you any further? Being single means that you can occupy all the bed space and sleep in peace, without having to play tug-of-war for the blanket. You can sleep with your legs on the headboard, or even roll off the edges and never have anyone to complain about it.

5. Saving Money

The biggest hassle of being in a relationship is having no control over your cash outflow. God save your soul and pocket if you have a high-maintenance partner! She’ll max out your credit card for insignificant things like her dog’s manicure, eyelash lengthening and buying the entire department store in a single visit. Not to be sexist, but the only task women perform with perfection is spending money! Men in relationships have had their pockets screeching in agony over the amounts of money spent in pampering their girlfriends. What can one do? Women proverbially hold us by the balls, crushing any hopes of freedom whatsoever. Either you lose money when you give in to her desires or you still lose your sanity if you don’t. Being single, on the other hand, reunites you with your full budget, leaving you to sing happy crooning lullabies of togetherness. With no money to lose, you can store it for future emergencies or use it for your own good.

6. Spend Time with Your Friends

To the girlfriend, a ‘boy’s night-out’ is always an out-of-bounds forage into infidelity. While she flutters her eye lashes in utter approval of her friends, no matter how skanky they might be, she’ll always hold her partner’s friends in contempt for reasons that transcend all sense. For every commonplace anomaly she will blame his friends as if they were a gang of criminals roaming around scot-free. From a leaky pipe to split ends, it seems that everything under the sun has his friends to blame. She will throw surreptitious glances when they come home to watch the game or lurk around in shady corners to catch them leading her boyfriend to infidelity. Being single means getting rid of this psychotic woman and spending some quality time with your friends. Now you can do your heart’s desire, without having to worry about a moody girlfriend waiting to pounce on you at home.

Singlehood has perks fantastic enough to make even the most committed of men reconsider their decisions. Here’s hope that the above-mentioned points drive some sense into men and let them make proper choices in life.

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