Review: 'Siew Lup' feels like an explicit Chinese TV melodrama

Secret ending? No.

Running time: 82 minutes (~1.25 hours)

“Siew Lup (烧腊)” is a Singaporean erotic romance thriller that’s in English and Mandarin.

The film sees the deterioration of the relationship between a roast meat seller and a former prostitute. Complications arise when a handsome funeral director somehow enters the picture — and their relationship.

“Siew Lup (烧腊)” is directed and written by Sam Loh. It stars Sunny Pang (Guan), Louis Wu (Wu), Rebecca Chen (Mia), Melody Low (Xuan), Alan Tan (Gao), and Rayve Tay (Ang Mo Beng). It is rated R-21.

“Siew Lup (烧腊)” looked like a promising art film that would be filled with themes about the carnal nature of humans and how eating was no baser than love when it came to human needs. Alas, that was not the case. While it may have been set in Singapore, the setting felt like it could easily have been transplanted to any other East Asian country. The most problematic issue of all is the execution, which falls far below what was probably envisioned.

Highlights

Authentic food scenes

If there’s one thing that “Siew Lup (烧腊)” gets right, it’s the foodporn that’s scattered all across the film. The shots of roasted meat are fairly tantalising and the close-ups on the different dishes actually serve a plot purpose, instead of just being there for the sake of aesthetics. Perhaps if “Siew Lup (烧腊)” had focused more on the food aspect of the film, it might have fared better.

Letdowns

Awful audio

What will strike you almost immediately into the film is the quality of the audio. The ADR (the dialogue that is recorded on to the film after it has been shot) is edited so badly that it sounds like a Cantonese film dubbed in Mandarin. The voices don’t sync with the mouths and the audio quality of the dialogue is hollow and artificial. Rest assured, though, that you’re watching the film in the language that it is meant to be seen in.

Intimate scenes lack finesse

The intimate scenes feel like they’re the product of a teenager’s fantasy, and also a teenager’s execution. They’re interesting, but they’re so horribly shot that they feel like Stomp (a ‘citizen journalism’ site where users upload content) videos at times. For instance, what’s meant to be a passionate shower scene has you focusing on the awkwardly steamed up windows. There isn’t enough steam to create the silhouette effect, but it’s steamed up enough that it obscures what’s happening. It has you scratching your head in bewilderment as you question whether the director has viewed any intimate scenes in cinema before.

Laughable dialogue

The characters speak in Channel 8 cliches 75 per cent of the time. The dialogue sounds far from realistic and employs many trite idioms and melodramatic utterances that border on corniness. Then you have too much narration, presumably to help stitch the scenes together and quickly explain what’s happening. The lines are well-delivered though — it’s the actual content that makes the dialogue laughable.

Simplistic plot and shallow characterisation

The plot is simple and overdramatic, and yet the story is difficult to follow. The problem is that the motivations are unclear. Characters often have to literally spell out who they are, what they want, and why they’re doing something, instead of having it be demonstrated through their actions. To make things worse, they aren’t always logical or consistent about their actions. They plunge headlong into situations simply for the sake of drama, and this leaves you groaning at their absolute lack of common sense.

“Siew Lup (烧腊)” fares badly in plot and intimacy.

Should you watch this at all? Sure.

Should you watch this if it’s free? If you’re a fan of any of the cast members.

Score: 1.8/5

“Siew Lup (烧腊)” opens in cinemas:
– 23 February, 2017 (Singapore)

Marcus Goh is a Singapore television scriptwriter, having written for Police & Thief, Incredible Tales, Crimewatch, and Point of Entry. He’s also a Transformers enthusiast and avid pop culture scholar. You can find him on social media as Optimarcus and on his site. The views expressed are his own.