Resolutions Never Work. Consider a "Birthday Reset" Instead.
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It's the New Year, which means it's resolution season. Time to take stock of all the ways you fell short last year, all the things you can do better, to tally up all the unfinished projects and lofty goals you want to conquer in 2025. Fun, right? It's no wonder that 23 percent of people quit their resolution within a week, and 43 percent give up by the end of January.
What if there was a better way to take stock—what if you considered using your birthday as inspiration for that “reset” you’ve been thinking about? This concept, known as a “birthday reset,” involves timing a house reset—including decluttering, wardrobe purging, and rethinking a space in your home—around your birthday rather than traditional calendar milestones. "I love this idea even more so than a reset at the new year or with the spring because it is so unique and personal to the individual,” says Dr. Molly Burrets, a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in women's mental health and Adjunct Professor at the University of Southern California (USC). “You’re doing it as sort of an act of love directly related to the celebration of yourself, and I think that’s really special.”
What is a “reset” anyway?
Think of a “reset” as a more positive-sounding spin on the term “decluttering,” which has a bad reputation for being a chore says Renee Green Tate, a professional organizer and founder of Savvy Sloth Strategies. But however you decide to define it— a decluttering, a reorganization, a purge!—a reset is ultimately about aligning your space with your life and goals. Tate describes it as “shedding something that I no longer need or that is no longer serving me, and getting refocused on what I do want to focus on.”
This process can have significant psychological benefits, Burrets notes. “The environment that we find ourselves in, the context in which we operate, has such an impact on our functioning,” she says. “The act of resetting a space and quite literally clearing it out just creates more space for us to see things clearly.”
Set yourself up for success.
Don't wake up one day and just wing it. Decide on your strategy ahead of time. "Getting really clear on why a reset is coming across your mind is the first step, so that you can get focused on making the space work for that need,” says Tate. Ask yourself: what is out of alignment, what isn’t working, what are the roadblocks?
For example: Is getting ready in the morning a bear because your closet is out of control? Then your mission could be simply to make getting ready in the morning the easiest thing to do. “Once you have that mission, then it removes a lot of the emotion that we attach to our items,” Tate says, making it easier and more straightforward to toss or donate what doesn’t serve that mission.
This kind of clear, specific goal setting is key. “Any time you're going to institute a behavioral change, or anytime you’re trying to achieve something, the more clearly you can envision the end goal, the more likely you are to achieve it,” Burrets says. “If the goal is just, ‘I want to be healthier,’ that is much harder to achieve than, ‘I want to be able to run a 5K without stopping to walk.’”
Be realistic.
Perfection should not be your end goal, say Bridget Urgo and Jackie Randall, co-owners of the home organization and relocation company The Settler. “Ultimately, a reset is about intention, so if you focus on reworking your space so it feels supportive, rejuvenating, and in tune with your current stage of life, you will have succeeded,” says Urgo.
Time it right.
In fact, professional organizer Maura Fitzgerald, founder of Fitz Just Right, suggests getting started a few weeks ahead of the actual big day. “This way, by the time it rolls around, you’re really able to just enjoy a decluttered, functional space, toast yourself, and celebrate with a very clear and accomplished mind.”
Not sure what area to tackle? Consider your bedroom.
“People tend to really ignore their bedrooms,” says Fitzgerald. “It’s like the lost space that people don't think about!” But, she points out, there is real science behind how a cluttered bedroom can affect your sleep. “Taking care of your bedroom could be the biggest birthday present somebody could give themselves, because that’s the space where you start and end every single day,” she says. Give yourself the gift of waking up “with a breath of fresh air, as opposed to opening your eyes and being like, ‘That's still on my to-do list from last week!”
Or start even smaller.
You can even pick a space like a medicine cabinet, your bedside table, or a kitchen drawer, says Fitzgerald. “Once those everyday spaces that you see multiple times a day are done, it’ll kickstart you to tackle the bigger projects!”
You can also break larger jobs into smaller, manageable tasks, Burrets advises. For example, she says, you can separate items into categories of what they’re used for. “Put all of your books in one pile, put all of your papers in one pile, put all of your utensils in one pile, and then take it step by step.”
“What's nice about doing it that way is that you get the dopamine hit of having completed a project,” she says, which then motivates you to move on to the next task.
Set a timer.
“This is my go to hack,” says Urgo.“Start with just 10 minutes and you will be amazed at how much you can accomplish. It’s similar to my workout approach—I can do anything for 10 minutes and usually when that 10 minutes is up, I find I have energized myself and I can go another 10 to 20 minutes!”
Have fun with it.
Bringing some joy to the process is key. That could be your favorite playlist, audiobook, or podcast, recommends Tate. For her part, Fitzgerald says the joy comes from having the right outlook: “Definitely get into a mindset where you're just not afraid to let go of things, because once you start to see spaces kind of clear up, it makes you lighter as a person!”
You can also call in a friend for support—ask for their time as your birthday present. “It's so much easier to have accountability with somebody else in the room,” says Fitzgerald. A professional organizer can help you be pretty ruthless with yourself, she notes, but so can a good friend. In fact, you could even trade off with a friend and join her for her own birthday reset.
The lasting impact of a birthday reset.
A birthday reset can have a profound effect on your daily life, Fitzgerald notes: “Even those small spaces, the sense of accomplishment that you feel, you get that every day when you see these spaces. It really is like a gift to yourself.”
It's also a chance to reframe the chore of purging and rethinking as a deeply personal activity. “It’s truly is something that’s meant to empower you,” she says. “With a birthday reset, I love that you’re doing something that is super personal in honor of a day that’s very personal to you. Our birthday is our one personal milestone where we get to decide what the outcome is.”
Moreover, this process can set the tone for your entire year.“Whenever I spend time with a friend on their birthday, I always ask the question, ‘What do you envision for yourself this year?’” Fitzgerald says. “People love getting asked that—we spend a lot of our lives on automatic, because we have so many tasks and responsibilities. And I think just giving someone permission to create a vision for their year is really important.”
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