Is It Really Better to Give Than It Is to Receive?
It’s a question posed since humans started exchanging decorated bones over 10,000 years ago: Is it better to give or to receive? Some pride themselves on the perfectly chosen present, one that radiates with love, thoughtfulness, and generosity; others really just relish tearing off that wrapping paper to see their cool new stuff. All cultures have developed rules and rituals around gifting, from the subtle to the elaborate to the highly consequential, yet none have gotten us any closer to figuring out this seemingly basic query. Care to give it a go—or is received wisdom more your thing?
ANCIENT WISDOM SAYS… More from Robb Report
“It is more blessed to give than to receive.” —the Bible, Acts 20:35. The whole better-to-give conceit was a core tenet of Christianity even before those tedious 14-day return windows. | ANCIENT WISDOM SAYS… “One who does not remember a kindness is not a man, but an animal.” —Swahili proverb. Presumably not an elephant. Or a crow, a dog, a chimpanzee, an octopus, or any of the other smart ones. Like that tiger that remembered the guy, like, 10 years later in that YouTube video. |
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON SCOTCH TAPE Gift giving can release serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamine—something to consider in a nation that spends over $17 billion annually on antidepressants.  Robert Byron | THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON SCOTCH TAPE Psychologists believe the “social obligation” of reciprocating gifts helps create communal bonds. (And it’s a lot more fun than attending PTA meetings.) |
IT’S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS—OR IS IT? Studies suggest that, for some, the pleasure of giving is counteracted by the stress of finding the “perfect gift” or of spending too much or too little. To which we say: Wow, thanks for that searing insight into the human psyche, studies. | IT’S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS—OR IS IT? Statistically, receivers are nearly as disappointed as grateful: Around 35 percent of all gifts are returned. In 2022 alone, an estimated $170 billion in merchandise went back to stores.  Stock Adobe |
SIMPLY THE BEST Jamsetji Tata, founder of India’s Tata Group, is considered the top philanthropist of the past century, donating $102 billion to education and health-care charities—only a hair less than the combined total given by Bill Gates (No. 2) and Warren Buffet (No. 3).  Henry Guttmann Collection/Hulton Archive/Getty Images | SIMPLY THE BEST Born into a prominent family, Roman general Marcus Licinius Crassus is considered one of history’s greediest men. His private fire brigade would stand outside burning buildings and offer to buy them at a price that dwindled as the flames increased.  John Springer Collection/CORBIS/Corbis via Getty Images |
THE TAXMAN COMETH In the U.S., you can gift up to $17,000 per year to someone tax-free, up to a lifetime total of $12.92 million. But be quick about it: In 2026 that figure drops by more than half, to around $5 million.  Stock Adobe | THE TAXMAN COMETH According to the I.R.S., the giver is generally responsible for paying any gift taxes. The rule is intentionally counterintuitive, to distract you from the ridiculous premise of paying taxes on a gift. |
IN LOVE In 1631, Mughal emperor Shah Jahan commissioned what is perhaps history’s greatest gift, the 100,000-square-foot Taj Mahal. It took almost 20 years to build this monument to his late wife, Mumtaz Mahal. | IN LOVE The love-is-forever sentiment is nice and all, but see how you feel when your partner gives you a tomb for your birthday.  Fototeca Storica Nazionale |
… AND IN WAR King Louis XVI of France gave the U.S. $20 billion (in today’s dollars) to help fund the American Revolutionary War.  Stock Adobe | … AND IN WAR The U.S. went on to become the world’s leading superpower, and Louis was beheaded after his donation caused the economic crisis that sparked the French Revolution. Receiving—in this case, at least—was clearly the way to go. Stock Adobe |
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