People Are Sharing The Unwritten Social Rules They Think Everyone Could Use A Refresher On, So Here Ya Go
Reddit user u/DarkSoldierz posed the question, "What are some unwritten social rules everybody should know?" The thread filled with many useful rules and great refreshers on ways to be upstanding and aware members of society.
1."Never ask someone if they’re pregnant! If they haven’t told you, it’s for a reason."
2."Don’t negatively comment on the food another person eats. Whether it’s because you don’t like it, or you think it smells, or you think the food combination is weird, or because you think the person is picky — just stop. I don’t care if it’s ketchup on well-done steak or if someone isn’t eating any vegetables. Food is super personal to people, and it’s one of the worst feelings to be self-conscious about eating in front of other people."
3."Don't criticize someone's smile or laugh. It will make them feel self-conscious every time they're happy."
"Don’t criticize someone for anything they have no control over, really."
4."Don't stand right up against a baggage carousel blocking others' sight lines and access. Approach the carousel when you see your bag and it is within range to pick up. Once you've retrieved the bag, move both the bag and yourself out of the way so that others can do the same."
5."If someone says they have an appointment, don’t ask what for. If you’re in a work environment, it might be a job interview. Or, it might be a proctologist appointment. Either way, if people are vague, it’s usually for a reason!"
6."Spit your damn gum in the trash. It's not that hard."
7."DON’T touch other people’s babies (at least not without their permission), regardless of how cute the baby is! Also, never kiss a baby if you aren’t one of the parents."
8."If you are entering someone's home and you see shoes near the front door, take your shoes off at the front door. I don't care what you do in your own home, but you do not wear shoes in someone else's home if they don't wear shoes in their home. And, if you're going to complain about having to remove shoes in someone else's house, you don't get to complain about getting kicked out when you refuse to comply."
9."The people exiting the elevator go first. The people exiting the train go first. The people exiting the bus go first. Airplanes are unloaded in numerical order. Row 1, 2, 3, 4, etc."
10."When someone shows you a picture on their phone, no swiping allowed."
11."Don’t make plans in front of those you are not willing to invite."
12."Ask before you pet someone’s dog in public."
13."Don't make people feel self-conscious in group settings. And yes, that includes asking someone why they're so quiet."
14."When someone tells you, 'It's getting late,' 'I'm getting tired,' or, 'I have a lot going on at work tomorrow,' when you're over at their place, it's time for you to go."
"Yes, or yawning or talking about how YOU must have so much to do tomorrow. Or, slapping both legs and saying, 'Well!' Basically, if you're at someone's place, be on high alert for them trying to get rid of you."
15."If you need to use your phone, step to the side out of the way. Don’t just slam on the brakes in the middle of the sidewalk."
16."Don’t litter. Keep a grocery bag/trash bag in your vehicle for garbage. Don’t empty your litter into parking lots or ditches. Throw out your trash when you come upon a dumpster or trash can."
17."Please RSVP when invited to an event, especially when the host is paying for food and drinks."
18."Please acknowledge new people in your life properly. Your brother brings a girl home? Your bestie brings a friend to the bar? Introduce yourself, give them a handshake, acknowledge the new human in front of you. What happened to manners? This keeps happening, and it makes me feel invisible."
19."If you’re visiting someone and plan on staying at their place, confirm the dates you want to stay BEFORE you book your ticket. I told a college friend he could visit and stay with me, then he booked a 10-day trip and was furious when I said he could only stay in my house for four days. It ruined the friendship because I couldn’t believe how inconsiderate he was being, and he probably thought I was being an a-hole for 'going back' on what I’d said."
20."Don't propose at someone else's wedding. You're pretty much mooching off of a romantic, EXPENSIVE, dream setting for your benefit. I mean, if you work it out with the bride and groom, maybe, but it's their day. Let it be about them."
21."Do not stand still right at the entrance or exit of a door. Let people pass."
22."You should offer to pay someone for gas if they drive you a lot of places."
23."If you're walking in a group on a sidewalk and a person is walking toward you, move to the side. Don't make them step onto the street so that you can continue walking side-by-side. I see this way too often, especially on college campuses."
24."Put your grocery cart back in the appropriate location. Do not leave carts in parking stalls, or in the middle of parking lot. It takes one minute to put it back properly."
25."Don't make light-hearted jokes about people's names. They've heard it all before."
26."When you go to the movie theater, unless there are no other seats available, try to keep at least one seat between you and any other patrons. That includes sitting next to, behind, and ESPECIALLY in front of someone else."
27."Don't make unsolicited comments about how healthy someone else's food is if you're not their doctor or dietitian."
28."Get off your phone when being waited on!"
29."When you're in a group and someone starts saying something but is cut off, always ask them to repeat themselves because you were interested in what they were saying. It's good manners and it can completely build someone's self-confidence."
30."Don't sit right next to people when there is other seating available. Cover your cough. And, for Pete's sake, quit spitting everywhere. What is in your mouth that is so nasty you have to spit it on the sidewalk? I've just never understood this."
31."Praise others in public and correct them in private, especially if you are in some kind of management role. Don't dress others down in front of everyone as some kind of power move, or whatever."
32."Don't play music out loud on your phone in public."
33."Respect peoples' pronouns, preferences, dietary wants and needs, decision to say no to something, etc. etc."
34."Don't diss someone’s taste if you have never seen or tried what they like."
35."Do not ask friends, colleagues, or strangers when they're 'finally' going to get married or 'finally' have kids."
36."Don't abandon your friend at a party where they hardly know anyone. Don't abandon your friend(s) when out in public and they're intoxicated."
37.And: "Be situationally aware while in public spaces. 'Where am I standing? What's around me? Am I in someone's way, or about to be? Looking at the person I am talking to, do they look invested, bored, busy, or annoyed? Looking at the people around me, am I having a private conversation in front of the world? Can I call back when I'm not in public, instead of answering? Am I being too loud or disruptive for other people? Am I drunk or high, meaning I am not going to be a good judge of when to put a lid on it?' You will save yourself from breaking many rules by making yourself THINK about where you are and if what you're doing is appropriate to your setting and audience. It's not as hard as you might think, and it will help you in private spaces too!"
What are some other unspoken rules and social graces people need to follow? Share in the comments!
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
