"That's When I Knew That I Could Trust Him": Women Are Sharing The Moment Their Partner Earned Their Trust, And A Lot Of These Teach Some Valuable Dating Lessons
Relationships — whether they are romantic or platonic — are ultimately built on trust. Personally, for me, it takes a long time for me to let people in and fully trust them — especially a romantic partner. I found this Reddit thread fascinating where u/asleepinthealpine asked "When did you realize you could really, truly trust your partner?" The responses in the thread pulled at my heartstrings. Here is what some people had to say.
1."I lost a pregnancy. He handled everything while I absolutely fell apart, and he handled it for over a year. He is absolutely my rock and my safe place. When I was diagnosed with Pelvic Congestion Syndrome, he began researching everything to do with it, during flare-ups he carries me wherever I need to be. A PTSD trigger of mine is doctors, so he's become my advocate. He's an amazing man, and I'm so lucky I have him in my life."
2."Very early in the relationship, he told me that he wanted his partner to be able to expect physical touch and affection to be simply that. A back rub was going to be truly only a back rub — and not always be an expectation for intimacy. He wanted me to feel safe and comfortable saying yes or no to sex. He wanted my needs to be the higher priority."
"He had read some studies about relationships in which the husband would only physically touch when they wanted sex and how it caused many women to flinch when touched. He wanted to have a better relationship than that.
Having such an attitude led to sex at least 4–6 times a day during the early years. Over 45 years together now, and it is still pretty much a daily thing. I have never felt coerced or manipulated for intimacy."
3."First date. It was a typical case of when you know, you know. I even wrote in my journal that I met the man I was going to marry."
4."I met him seven years before meeting on Tinder; he was a musician, and I hit on him at a random gig he played. He told me he had a girlfriend, respectfully. Always sat right with me that he was so nice about it and loyal. Side note: We had our first date at the same place the show was, not realizing we had met before. We have our anniversary there now every year."
5."When we were buying our first house together. I was on vacation with my aunt and my son. Houses were getting snapped up left and right, and Denver was and still is a seller's market. I let him know to go to any showings he could and put offers on any houses that looked good, not expecting much."
"He went to three showings and put in an offer on two houses. That's when I knew that I could trust him as a partner — we had the same goals, and he was as serious about them as I was. Not only that, he wasn't just going to follow me and let me do all the work; he was going to help."
6."He went to therapy with me when our marriage was hanging by a thread. We forgave each other, and I realized I always want to forgive him, and him me. We’re not going anywhere."
7."About four months into dating my husband, my grandmother died unexpectedly. He was halfway around the world working. He dropped everything and flew 18 hours to be with me and my family. It meant everything to me; that is when I knew."
8."Honestly, pretty early on with my husband, but I didn’t trust myself to accept it for awhile. Realized just how much I can deeply trust and depend on him when we were dealing with infertility on my end (severe endo), and I, in my worst PMDD black moods, would cry to him to just leave me because he deserved children and an easy life. He never wavered for a millisecond. He’d soothe me and tell me that I was being ridiculous because we’d have a family one way or another and what mattered was my health and emotional well-being."
"To feel so useless and broken and to still have the unconditional love and support of my partner made me know officially that he was someone I could depend on no matter what. I have an anxious attachment and PMDD, and being with someone like him has been so healing for me. We’re expecting our first baby any day now, and I’m so happy that my daughter is getting such a wonderful man for a father."
9."I knew I could trust him early on, but I knew he truly had my back when he met my family. I grew up in a household where my parents and sister were pleasant to outsiders but very emotionally and verbally abusive behind closed doors."
"My exes had always either thought I was exaggerating because my family was nice to them, thought it 'couldn't be that bad' because all families love each other, or thought they could charm them and fix everything as if the problem was my personality.
When my fiancé met my family, we stayed at my sister's house. She was an absolute cow from the moment we arrived, and eventually, I reacted, and we got into an argument. I felt so guilty about it afterwards, but he said I had done nothing wrong and pointed out all the rude things that she had said and done that he had noticed. It felt so validating to have someone else see it and for him to have my back rather than asking me to keep the peace."
10."Since back in middle school, when we were best friends. She was there for me whenever I needed her. I got bullied a lot by my classmates, and she would always come to my aid and protect me. She was my anchor and guardian angel. She still is — only difference is that we are girlfriends now."
11."First date. Got too sloshed without intending to, and wasn’t in a state to go home (I lived with my parents back then, and they don’t know I drink). This man took such good care of me despite being drunk himself. He was a gentleman throughout the night and dropped me home safely the next morning without judging me for any of it. That’s when I knew he was the one. We’re almost two years in now, with over a year of long distance."
12."I had to work a mandatory double shift at work, and I asked him to walk my dogs for me. He said yes without any other questions asked and did it for me a few other times that summer. Any other person I dated would say no, and it would become a huge fight for a simple favor."
13."The first time he told me he loved me. He said off the bat like he said it 1,000x before, and I sorta just stood there. Mouth open. He was confused as to why I was shocked, and I was leaving, rushing out the door to go to work. I told him he was crazy (jokily) and I had to go. He called while I was walking completely panicked, apologizing, but he said he stood by it, and he loved me, the end of it. So I told him I loved him, too, and we’ve been in love ever since. That was the beginning of my trust for him."
14."When he fucked up, he immediately owned it. This was probably five months into dating. We're married now. There are good ones out there."
15."Six weeks into dating my husband, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. I told him that he wasn't obligated to stick around, and it would make things easier if he walked away now so I didn't depend on him to be my support during my dad's treatment and then walk away when it got to be too much for him. I REALLY liked him, but given the circumstances, I figured it would be easier to just cut our losses. We'd only been together six weeks, it wasn't like this was his father-in-law — I thought I was being helpful."
"His response? 'No.' I said, 'I want you to think about it.' He said, 'Okay...hmm *makes thinking face*...no.'
He was all in from the beginning, and he was willing to shoulder the burden of helping my family as my dad was in treatment and recovery. There was ZERO hesitation on his part. I figured anyone who was that committed to something so serious so early was worth my trust. And now my dad IS his father-in-law, so it all worked out."
Do you have a story about trusting your partner that you could share? If so, share it with me in the comments below!
