22 Secrets That People Revealed That They Will Never Tell Their S.O., And Some Are Truly For Very Pure Reasons
If you've ever been in a relationship, then you know you sometimes have to keep secrets from your partner. These secrets aren't necessarily for nefarious purposes but because they're really silly, harmless, or you're trying to protect them from something.
Recently, Reddit user cosplayoffpink wanted to know about the things people keep from their significant others when they asked: "What's a secret that you're never going to tell your partner?"
The thread got over 1.3K replies from people sharing the secrets they'll take to their graves. Below are the top and best comments, including one from the OP, who starts off the post:
1."When she was bathing the kids one night in winter, I decided to install the surround sound speakers on the skinny table behind the couch. I slid out the sofa and the table to get access to the powerstrip (two lamps and a phone charger already back there) for the subwoofer and saw a rolled-up black shirt on the floor next to it. Upon closer inspection, I saw it was a black snake rolled up in a ball, getting some warmth from the powerstrip. She's TERRIFIED of snakes."
"I ran out to the garage, grabbed a bucket and lid, picked up Mr. Sleepy, and put him (or her, I didn't have time to ask) in the bucket and quickly out into the garage. The next day was an unusually warm winter day so I let it go in the field across the street. I'm guessing it got in from around one of the HVAC boots nearby on the floor.
If I brought it up then I would have had to move in the middle of that night. If I bring it up now, I'll have to move tonight. Maybe one day, but I don't see us leaving here any time soon, so that secret will die with me."
2."When I go get bread. I buy a pastry and eat it before I get home."
3."I'll never tell my girlfriend that I once accidentally broke her favorite mug and spent hours scouring the internet to find an identical replacement. She still thinks it's the same one, just magically un-chipped!"
4."She snores like a pack of bears having a combat orgy on the back of a semi-truck that's downshifting too soon. Also, she doesn't have sleep apnea. We checked. The secret I won't tell her is that...that shit is my white noise now. She started working an overnight shift as a nurse, and I can't sleep at night without her absolutely symphonic snoring."
5."She loves to tell everyone I’m scared of spiders, and I play the game. The truth is spiders don’t bother me at all, but I told her that so that she deals with them."
6."When we lived in our apartment, my wife worked nights. She always left candy out for kids on Halloween, but all the kids in our complex would go to neighborhoods nearby to trick-or-treat. So, I would always take a good bit of the candy and hide it away to take to work. She’d always be happy that kids came by to get the candy she left out."
7."I really can't stand her favorite band. I go along to concerts and listen to their music because that makes her happy, but it's just not my thing. I keep it to myself because I know how much it means to her, and it’s a small thing in the grand scheme of our relationship."
8."When we were first married, an ex-girlfriend of my husband sent him a birthday card. I threw it away, and I have never told anyone about it."
9."When I go get pizza from her favorite pizza place, I always pick it up because I always wait for the pizza with a beer from the restaurant bar."
10."I cover for the dog way too much. The dog jumped in the garden bed and dug up her seedlings. I said squirrels did it."
11."That I secretly love it when she calls me pookie, even though I act like I don't. TBF, initially I hated it, but my feelings switched after maybe three weeks of her calling me that. Now it warms my heart a bit every time she says it."
12."When I wash the clothes, I use less soap than she does. She claims it makes the clothes smelly, but she still hasn't noticed the difference when wearing them."
13."I sneak in some cheeseburgers when I run errands."
14."My husband bought a new lawnmower and weed-whacking thing he was quite proud of. They were electric with interchangeable batteries, easy to use, and lightweight. As far as he was concerned, they were perfect for him. One day, the weed whacker stopped working, and he fought (and won!) a long and difficult battle to get it replaced under warranty."
"I will never tell him that the reason it stopped working was that I accidentally left it out in the rain. I was trying to get the kids' bikes out of the shed, and I moved the weed whacker out of the way and forgot to put it back. I will take this to my grave."
15."I sometimes let her win in chess. I’m not a great player, but I’m way more experienced than she is. I actually taught her chess. She’s just so damn adorable and proud when she wins, so I sometimes leave my king unchecked but not in a too obvious way, so sometimes she doesn’t notice."
"But when she does, I dig up my Academy Award-winning performance of a shocked chess loser and enjoy the joy on her face when she wins."
16."I bought my own engagement ring. My amazing wife (I love her so much) got what she thought was a 14k white gold and diamond ring. She proposed and I cried happy tears. Shortly after, the stones were falling out. I have a friend in the industry. It turns out the whole ring is fake and basically crumpled the moment any heat was put to it."
"My wife would feel so awful and probably tell herself mean things. So I had them make a custom mold of a duplicate in white gold and diamonds and paid for it myself. That was almost 10 years ago and I'll take that to my grave."
17."I take one or two secret days off a year. Wake up like normal and do my morning routine like I'm going to work, then once she leaves, I do whatever I want (usually a day of smoking, afternoon beers, and games)."
18."Before my husband's grandmother passed away, she gave us her ruby engagement ring to give to our daughter, as they were both born in July. When my daughter's partner asked us if he could marry our daughter, we told him we had the grandmother's ruby engagement ring he could use to propose with. So, I went to get it sized and appraised for insurance so I could give it to her partner. Turns out it’s a garnet. Worthless."
"So, my husband's grandfather lied (omitted?) about his grandmother's engagement ring in 1940, and we are passing this family heirloom on to our daughter. No one but me knows the truth. I’ll go to my grave with that one. It looks like a ruby, so by god it’s a damn ruby.
PS: We always insisted we be asked for permission, stating tradition. But really, it was so we could save them from going into debt on a ring."
19."My wife was doing a hardcore training/diet program for six months. All she could eat was essentially green veggies, sweet potato, and bland chicken breasts. To keep her motivated, I promised I would do the diet portion with her for six months."
"What she doesn't know is that many times I said I was going to the gym, I was really just eating Chick-fil-A or In-N-Out in the parking lot. I'd also have a stockpile of videos of me in the gym to send her, so she thought I was 'working on them gains.' To this day, she has no idea I was stuffing my face for this six-month period."
20."I did not enjoy their cooking at all. I ate for survival. They can burn water."
21."I'll never tell my partner that I accidentally deleted her favorite TV show recordings from the DVR and blamed it on a mysterious 'glitch.' She still thinks our DVR has a mind of its own!"
22.And lastly, "Whenever she's not home, I let the dog onto the bed and take a really comfy nap. I set an alarm for an hour, kick the dog off, and clean the fur off before she ever gets home. I’ve been doing this for nearly three years now."
You can read the original thread on Reddit.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
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