Parents should never give this two-word compliment to their kids: expert

Moms and dads who want to do a “good job” at raising successful kids should resist saying these two little words.

“[Saying] ‘good job’ does not damage kids,’” explained child psychologist Becky Kennedy during a recent appearance on “The Tim Ferriss Show” podcast.

“But it is a conversation ender,” she continued, adding that when a child shows off an art project, school report or extracurricular achievement to their parents, they’re often seeking sincere validation.

And a banal “good job” is just not good enough.

“In those moments, we want, as parents, to double-down on building our kid’s confidence,” said Kennedy. “Is ‘good job,’ the best of all of our options? Or should we have more tools in our toolbox.”

And the kiddo pro’s hitting the nail on the head.

Lesley Koeppel, a psychotherapist in Manhattan, previously told The Post that offerings kids lackluster praise and communication — such as dryly asking “How was school, today?,” only to get an equally dry, “OK,” in response — typically makes tots feel unimportant.

“It doesn’t show that you’re truly interested in them — their likes, dislikes, decision-making, friends, teachers or strengths,” warned Koeppel.

“It’s more impactful to ask questions that focus on the child’s daily processes,” said the mom of three. “When we acknowledge our kids’ feelings about the things they’ve experienced by asking something like, ‘What was the best part of your day?’ It shows them we truly care, and that builds their self-esteem.”

Recent research agrees, saying terms like “good boy” and “good girl” can also be fruitless nuggets of acknowledgement. Instead, specialists encourage moms and dads to focus on “process praise.”

It’s a form of applause that’s informational, and provides children with feedback on their efforts and strategies in achieving an outcome.

Kennedy, too, says its best to trust the “process.”

“The thing that really builds kids’ confidence is learning to gaze-in before your gaze-out,” she revealed, saying parents should teach their broods to be proud of themselves before seeking outward accolades from friends, social media or — once they’re adults — their bosses.

The expert cautioned that little ones lacking self-assurance can grow up to feel “empty, fragile and very very anxious.”

“When you’re in your 20s and 30s, and you produce something — maybe it’s art, maybe it’s a project — being able to give yourself some estimation of that before others do is very helpful to your whole self-concept and protective of anxiety and depression,” said Kennedy, a mother of three.

“Think about the yearning and the searching and the desperation for a ‘good job,’” she said, conceding that nixing the easy, two-word compliment could be difficult for parents.

“I know it sounds annoying at first, I get it,” Kennedy assured. “But once you get started it gets easier.”

“Anything that helps your kid share more about themself actually ends up feeling better to your kid,” she said.

“Setting up your kids to feel good about themselves — even if they’re not always getting [100%] — is such a massive privilege and it makes them work harder.”