Woman shocked as mum chooses her partner's daughter-in-law over her to be a bridesmaid at wedding

Lauren Clark
Contributor
A woman revealed her shock after her mum asked her daughter-in-law over her to be a bridesmaid at her second wedding [Image: Getty]

Weddings can be fraught occasions at the best of times - particularly if a parent is remarrying.

But one 23-year-old woman believes she is perfectly entitled to be threatening to boycott her 45-year-old mum’s upcoming nuptials in August.

In a post on Mumsnet titled ‘Am I being unreasonable to not go to my mum’s wedding?’ she explained that both she and her daughter, three, had been overlooked as a bridesmaid in favour of her mum’s future daughter-in-law.

“I'm not super close to her partner but I thought I was close to my mum,” she wrote of their relationship, adding that they had been together for six years before announcing their engagement in November.

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The woman - who also has an eight-month-old son - explained that it was all going well “until today when we were talking about the wedding and she dropped in casually that her partner’s daughter-in-law would be her bridesmaid and her sons pageboys.”

She admitted: “I was a bit taken aback that neither me or my daughter had been asked to be bridesmaids (my son I have understood because he is very little).

“It was my understanding (because obviously I'd have thought she'd have asked me or at least my daughter) that there was going to be no bridesmaids/ pageboy jazz to save on stresses in that area.

“The fact that she dropped it in so casually shows to me that she doesn't think it's that big of a deal so I want to know if I'd be unreasonable to a. take it up with her, especially on my daughter’s behalf or b. just not go to the wedding altogether.

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“There is a part of me that thinks I am being unreasonable because obviously it's her wedding and she can choose who does what but it doesn't sit right with me that my little girl isn't going to be a bridesmaid at my mother’s wedding.”

Her fellow mums rushed to agree that she wasn’t being unreasonable at all.

One person wrote: “Maybe she thinks she’s saving you some stress or something? But you definitely wouldn’t be unreasonable to ask her why, and to tell her you’re hurt.”

Another commented: “If it were me I'd be raising it. 100%. Something along the lines of ‘really looking forward to your day, it sounds great, but I have to mention that I was a little upset you hadn't considered me or darling daughter in your bridal party as would've loved to be involved’.

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“The fact she mentioned it so casually makes me think she hasn't done it out of spite, or that she's avoiding including you.”

A third shared: “Not going to the wedding would be a ludicrous overreaction.

“Talk to her about it if you really must, but to be honest, I would just keep your mouth shut and enjoy the day.

“Your daughter is three. She won't even know there's an issue unless you put it in her head.”

And a fourth added: “I have to say that I find it very peculiar that her partner's son's wife will be her bridesmaid and that she didn't ask you!

“Perhaps she felt that you had too much going on with your life and she was doing her a favour.

“You should definitely raise it with her. I think that you need to understand what's behind her thought process.”

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