John Stamos Says He Was Sexually Abused by a Babysitter: 'I Packed It Away' (Exclusive)

The 'If You Would Have Told Me' author exclusively tells PEOPLE that he "shouldn't have had to deal with those feelings" as a young boy

John Stamos is opening up about a traumatic period from his childhood for the first time.

The Full House alum, 60, revealed in his upcoming memoir, If You Would Have Told Me, out Oct. 24, that he is a survivor of sexual abuse. The misconduct allegedly occurred at the hands of his former babysitter.

Stamos exclusively tells PEOPLE that "it took me writing a book" to realize her alleged actions were inappropriate.

"I mean, I knew, it was always in the back, and I do so much advocacy for the [survivors]," he says. "I felt like, I remembered it slightly. It has always been there, but I packed it away as people do, right?"

At the time, Stamos "didn't tell" anyone as he claims. "I think I told myself, like, 'Ah, it's girls, man.'"

"It was like you're playing dead so they'll stop. But it wasn't totally aggressive," he recalls. "I don't know, it was not good."

Stamos first reflected on it while writing an acceptance speech for an award he once received for his advocacy for abused children. "I started to write it, and that's when it really came out," he recalls.

"And then I thought, 'No, tonight is not about me. It's about the kids. I'm going to pack it away again until the right moment,'" he continues. "Otherwise, I'm a phony f---. It's like, 'Come on.'"

Related: John Stamos Recalls the Harrowing Moment He Knew He Had to 'Straighten Up' amid Alcohol Addiction (Exclusive)

From Stamos' perspective, it was important to not make the moment about himself.

"I didn't want the headlines to be that, and I didn't want the book to be over that," he explains. "It was a page or something, but I felt I had to talk about it. It was weird. It was something that, I think, I was probably like 10 or 11 [when it happened]. I shouldn't have had to deal with those feelings."

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Stamos is now a father. He welcomed son Billy, now 5, in April 2018 with wife Caitlin McHugh Stamos.

"But I'll tell you, if I found out someone was doing that to my son," he says, "that's a totally different story."

Related: John Stamos Opens Up About 'Horrific' DUI, Ambien Use and Surprise Pregnancy

It was important for the Big Shot actor to be candid about all aspects of his life, both the highs and the lows, in his debut memoir.

"I did set out to write a hero story, but then as I was doing it I was like, 'No, I'm going to tell a human story,'" he says. "Because with the hero story, that's bulls---. And unless I was a hundred percent forthcoming, what am I doing this for, right? But it was hard."

If You Would Have Told Me is available for pre-order ahead of its release on Oct. 24.

For more on John Stamos, pick up the latest issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands everywhere Friday, or subscribe here. 

If you suspect child abuse, call the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-Child or 1-800-422-4453, or go to www.childhelp.org. All calls are toll-free and confidential. The hotline is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages.

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, please contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or go to rainn.org.

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