"I'll Assume You're Not Very Nice": Bartenders Are Revealing The Judgements They Assign To Popular Drink Orders

A while back, I shared a bunch of stereotypes about people based solely off their drink orders, straight from bartenders on Reddit. Well, people had a lot of thoughts.

Two bartenders looking judgey towards their customers
NBC

So I rounded up even more judgements about common drink orders — this time from Reddit and from the BuzzFeed community. You might want to keep these in mind before placing your next drink order.

1."Tequila on the rocks with lime: You are a wild party person and you love to tell stories about what said tequila made you do."

Blake Lively drinking a martini.
Warner Bros Pictures

2."If you order absinthe, I’m going to assume that you have at least five leather-bound books from the 1800s and maybe like, three friends."

Russel Brand screaming at the bar.
Apatow Productions

3."Gin & Tonic with cucumber: You're a housewife and your husband didn't notice your new fancy shoes, which made you upset at first, but then you realized it doesn't matter because you're possibly having an affair with the pool boy."

Grace shaking two cocktail shakers at once.

4."The guy who orders a Jack and Coke is just waiting for a good fight in a couple of hours."

Jack Nicholson swirling a whiskey glass.
Warner Bros Pictures

5."Moscow Mule: You're just really excited to drink something out of a shiny copper cup."

u/-ThatsNotIrony-

6."I assume that people who order martinis are high-functioning alcoholics."

James Bond drinking a Vesper Martini.
Metro Goldwyn Meyer

7."A shot of Fernet basically translates to 'I am a bartender from San Francisco."

whyamithewalrus

8."Long Island Iced Tea is international alcoholic lingo for 'I'm just here to get f*ed up.'"

Lindsay Lohan drinking a mocktail.
Paramount Pictures Studios

9."If you order a Shirley Temple I assume you're joking... or you're sober."

u/smallerthings

10."A glass of Chardonnay: you're probably married to an old rich guy."

—u/erikarew
Universal Pictures

11."If you order a Bud Light, Miller Light, or Budweiser with a shot of whiskey, you probably work in a manual labor-intensive job."

u/Modod_

12."Any frozen blended drinks means you're either high maintenance and/or on vacation and you don't know what else to order."

Jason Segel holding a fruity cocktail.
Apatow Productions

13."Mint Julep: You're probably the descendant of an 18th century plantation owner, you're wearing a sear-sucker suit, and probably carrying a cane."

u/lord_newt·

14."If you order a drink with a funny name off the actual cocktail menu, I'm going to assume you're underage."

Ross from "Friends" holding a cocktail.

kd92

NBC

15."Whiskey Sour: You're a young guy, in your early to mid '20s, and you used to drink whiskey and coke. You switched to whisky sours because you thought it was more respectable and/or because your friends started to make fun of you. It's as sweet as you can get away with while still being a 'whisky drink' and not a 'drink for chicks.'"

u/fragilestories

16."Negroni: You're probably thinking you taste in cocktails is as complex as your record collection and facial hair."

Angelina Jolie drinking a Negroni.

17."If you order a Lemon Drop I'm going to go ahead and assume you're high maintenance and not very nice."

u/hashtagpueb

18."Corona with lime: You'd much rather be at an outdoor barbecue than stuck at this pub."

Hailey Baldwin Bieber opening a Corona with her teeth.

19."Fireball with soda makes me think you're under 25, you don't yet know your limit, and you very well could end the night throwing up all over the dance floor."

u/rondell_jones

20."Anything with Malibu: It's probably karaoke night, 'girls night,' or a Bachelorette party."

Oprah Winfrey drinking a cocktail.

21."A double brandy and Coke means you're probably from South Africa...or Wisconsin."

u/Scarlet_Rad

22."Vodka on the rocks: you've been drinking for long enough tonight to enjoy the nasty burn from watered-down vodka with no mixer."

Billy Bob Thorton drinking vodka straight from the bottle.

23."Appletini or any other cocktail that ends in -tini says you're away from the kids for the weekend."

Ina Garten holding a giant cocktail.

24."Cosmopolitan: You just binge-watched every episode of 'Sex and the City' and you're ordering a Cosmo to be like Carrie Bradshaw."

The cast of "Sex and the City" drinking cocktails.
HBO

25."Tequila Sunrise: says 'I just turned 21 three weeks ago and on that note, I’d like to black out tonight."

u/Tacos4Tech

26."Vodka soda with a splash of cranberry juice might as well be called 'the white girl.'"

Pouring vodka from a water bottle into a cocktail.

27."If you order an expensive cocktail I'm just waiting for you to start arguing over the price once I give you the check. Next you'll probably say you can make it at home for half the price."

Kristin Wiig drinking a martini.

28."The person who asks for extra vodka in their drink is also the person who asked why I charged them for extra alcohol once they see the bill."

Nene Leakes from "Real Housewives" talking.
Bravo

29."If you're ordering red wine at a bar you're pretty much telling me that you'd rather be home on your couch right now."

Betty White drinking a large glass of wine.

So if you're a bartender reading this, what stereotypes do you associate with common drink orders? Get judgmental in the comments below.