"It's An Immediate No For Me": People Are Sharing Their Dating Non-Negotiables They Will Never, Ever Overlook
Since dating can sometimes feel like a full-time job, it makes sense why some people would have a few dating non-negotiables to help them find a partner. So when Reddit user u/rosypinks asked: "What’s a strict dating preference you have that you can’t overlook?" I thought it would be helpful to share their responses. Here's what they had to say below:
1."Cigarettes. Absolutely not."
"I could never be with someone who smokes because I’m a retired smoker and the craving never goes away, especially when I smell it or it's a cool fall day. Being in close proximity to it would absolutely trigger me to start right back up."
2."Dishonesty. I would prefer someone to be upfront about who they really are instead of lying to appeal to my type of preference in a partner. It would save time for both parties in the long run!"
"Oh, jeez. I knew a guy like this. Conversations were so hard because he wouldn’t share a single opinion or thought without me voicing my thoughts first, so that he could parrot it back. It gave off the most desperate energy I’d ever encountered."
3."Sense of humor. I could probably overlook a dozen things if someone was funny and found me funny. But if someone doesn't share my sense of humor or doesn't have any at all, I will overlook every other green flag because that's just not a person I can have long, deep conversations with."
4."Good personal hygiene."
5."One’s living conditions should not resemble a cat box. I dated someone whose bathroom was so foul that I almost didn’t stay for sex."
6."They have actual values and not just preferences."
"You've got to stand for something or you'll fall for anything."
7."I need someone who's okay with pets. I've lived with pets for so long that I just don't think I could be without them, not for anyone."
"I’m okay with pets. But only BEHAVED pets.
I dated this guy whose dog would incessantly jump on me when I sat on the couch, went to the bathroom, or tried to cuddle the guy.
It was seriously obnoxious. I couldn’t stand going to his place because 90% of the time was him screaming NO to his ridiculously behaved dog. And the dog was fucking huge and would bite me, but the guy would say it was just 'playing.'
Absolutely never again."
8."I must be physically attracted to them."
"There's definitely a lot more beyond physical attraction that's important, but without that element, there's not much hope..."
9."Financial literacy. I’ve done quite well in life so far, and the idea of being brought down by someone with terrible finances scares me. They don’t have to be a high-earner, just smart with their money."
10."They have to be curious about things and enjoy learning for the sake of learning."
11."I’m in my late 40s and will absolutely not date 'I’m in the process of a divorce' kind of person. Call me when the ink is dry. Actually, a year after the ink is dry."
"Yeah, a woman at work is 'divorcing her husband,' who she still lives with. Her husband is a pharmacist at our facility, and they're still financially tangled up with one another. They also have a daughter together. Ma’am, you’re still all the way married. I will NOT be entertaining you."
12."I’m not a casual dater so those wishy-washy 'let’s just have fun and not call it anything until I’m ready 12 years from now' is a no-go for me."
"It feels like that’s the landscape and standard now. It's hard to find someone even in their late 20s who wants something serious and isn’t just out for a quick good time."
13."No kids. I do not want to be a parent in any capacity."
14."They can't be lazy. I learned waaaay too late in life that my relationships were so much work because I had partners who were just lazy at everything, whether it was professionally, domestically, or romantically. It's kind of fucked up how people can want 'commitment' and then commit no effort."
15."Being rude to servers, baristas, or retail workers is an immediate no for me."
"I won't even be friends with people who are rude to service workers let alone date them."
16."How they handle themselves when they're upset. Getting mad is not a free pass to treat me like shit."
17."They have to be reliable. Being on time for things and consistently following through with plans is a must. Of course, things happen. I won’t look down on someone for being a little late occasionally, for canceling plans because there’s been an emergency, or even for saying: 'I’m not doing great today, can we reschedule?' But I have a life, and I value my time. I’ve actually been told that I should be 'more understanding' when someone shows up two hours late and I’m already gone, or when someone cancels plans after I get to the location. It blows my mind how often I’ve discussed this with someone, just for them to say that I lack empathy."
Do you have a particular dating non-negotiable that wasn't mentioned above? If so, tell us what it is and why in the comments below.
