Demiboy
There are so many things that are important to consider when discussing gender identity. But before we can even begin to get into it, it's important to go back to the basics of gender versus sex, as these terms are are so commonly misused.
Licensed psychologist and LTBTQ+ sex educator Liz Powell puts it simply: “If we’re talking about someone’s sex, we’re talking about what they were assigned at birth, based on external genitalia.” And when you are talking about someone’s gender, you are talking about “someone’s own internal understanding about whether they are a man or a woman, something in between, or none of those things.”
As for the term demiboy, it's a gender identity. It's a term that can be used to describe someone who identifies with aspects of masculinity—regardless of whether they were born with female or male genitalia.
Since gender is on a spectrum, there is no need for anyone to only identify as fully male or fully female. The term demiboy aims at creating a space for a person to feel connected with the parts of masculinity that feel comfortable to them.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DEMIBOY, GENDER FLUID, BIGENDER, AND TRANSGENDER
Sex coach Katherin Winnick says demiboy is different from gender fluid, which is when your identification with male or female changes over time. Additionally, this is different from bigender, which is when you identify fully as both male and female at the same time. When you are a demiboy, your identity is tied in some way to the male gender.
Demiboy also differs from transgender, which refers to someone whose gender does not align with the sex they were assigned at birth. A demiboy might still associate themselves with their assigned gender at birth.
Related terms:
BIGENDER
WHAT IDENTIFYING AS A DEMIBOY LOOKS LIKE
Just like any other gender identity, there’s no one way for a demiboy to appear. But Winnick does explain that “a demiboy sometimes describes it as feeling like a girl that is masculine like a boy.” Marcos Martinez, owner of gay black lifestyle blog Men Who Brunch says that “a demiboy looks masculine and has features such as a crew cut or bald head and doesn't wear dresses or any other feminine clothing.”
HOW TO SUPPORT A FRIEND OR PARTNER WHO IDENTIFIES AS A DEMIBOY
According to Winnick, the number one way you can support someone who identifies as a demiboy is to “be supportive, don't judge, and listen to them.” They are the only ones who have a say in their identity, so you should accept them without passing any judgement.
It's important to remember that all gender identities are important to understand, but also be aware that self identification is key. If someone feels connected with these terms, awesome, but if not, there is no reason to assign a term to their gender experience.
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