Dating Diaries: Megan Barton-Hanson dates some frogs in the search for her prince
Welcome to Cosmopolitan UK’s Dating Diaries, where we pull back the curtain on the reality of romance. Sex educators, influencers, and celebs invite us into their love lives to witness lust, love, sex, hook-ups, and dating disasters. A lot can happen in a week! This time, Love Island alum Megan Barton-Hanson goes on back-to-back dates in the search for love, but ends up dating more frogs than princes. By the end of the week, she’s wondering: are there even any decent men left in London?
Monday
I like to think I have a pragmatic view on dating. This time last year I was in my ‘dating furiously’ era – I was on a mission to get a boyfriend. I’d go on dates every night, sometimes stacking them back-to-back. But now, I’m not in a hurry to settle, I’m trying to date with intention. I’ve lined up dates with guys from apps this week so maybe one of them could be ‘the one’. First up, a drink with a chef. He seems interesting and he looks hot in his photos, so I’m looking forward to meeting him.
First impressions aren’t great, we all love a short king but this guy has definitely lied on his profile about how tall he is. This kind of gives me the ick. Not because he’s much shorter than he said he was, but because he lied about it. I ask him how his day’s been and he says, ‘Well, you know, just changing people’s lives and making dreams come true.’ I laugh, but he’s not joking and he starts going on at length about how amazing he is. The ego on this man isn’t attractive, I’m not feeling it at all. Next!
Tuesday
Generally, I prefer to skip the chit-chat and just go for a drink to see if there’s any chemistry. I can usually tell within the first 10 minutes if there’s something there. In the past, I’ve stayed for half an hour, downed my drink and made a swift exit if there wasn’t a spark. What can I say? I don’t mess about. Recently, I was on a first date and he seemed nice, a bit boring maybe, but not a bad guy. Then I caught him slyly trying to take a photo of me. I challenged him on it.
He apologised but I thought to myself, does he even like me? Or did he just want a picture of the girl from Love Island? It hurt my feelings. Dating apps can make you feel like you’re just another option, rather than someone men actually want to get to know. So my Hinge profile is ruthless at this point. I have a checklist of what I’m looking for: stable mental health, don’t be a catfish and don’t talk about anything sexual on the first date. I love sex, but there’s a time and a place for that and I find it disrespectful when someone goes straight in with it.
Wednesday
My date tonight is with another guy I’ve met on an app. I’m hoping it goes better than the last one. We go for drinks and he starts telling me about his gorgeous ex. Weird flex for a first date, I think. He tells me she was stunning, Spanish and she had a huge arse. ‘Good thing I have a nice bum or you’d be making me feel insecure right now,’ I quip. He laughs but carries on.
He says they broke up because she always wanted to go out to nice places and he resented having to pay £15 for a cocktail every time they went on a date. The conversation is starting to make me feel uncomfortable. Why do we bother spending all this time getting dressed up for men who begrudge putting their hands in their pockets? You can’t win as a woman. I pay for my own drinks and we go our separate ways. I don’t think I’ll see him again.
Thursday
Tonight, I’ve arranged a date with a footballer. He’s definitely my type looks-wise and he’s invited me for drinks at The Mayfair Hotel. I like the cocktails there and I have a little laugh to myself thinking about how last night’s date would probably hate them. When I get to the bar, my date texts me and says he’s sorry but he’s still in his room and has to finish some stuff up. He asks me if I want to go upstairs. I feel like the goalposts have been moved and this isn’t what I was expecting. I think about how a younger version of myself might have been impressed by this, felt excited, even. But I’m wary of the situation now. I text back to see if he’s being genuine and when it seems like he is, I head up.
There’s a porn star martini waiting for me when I arrive and I realise what his aim is here. He had no intention of going to the bar. I exchange pleasantries with him, drink my drink and leave the hotel. Another waste of makeup and he’s definitely not ‘the one’. On the taxi ride home, I have to check myself. Did I misread the situation? Am I setting my expectations too high? I feel like sometimes the strong boundaries I’ve developed might make me seem bitter or like I don’t want to have fun. But I don’t see why I should let men get away with not treating me nicely. It’s the bare minimum, right?
Friday
A new day, a new date and a new hope for love. I’m going for lunch with another sporty guy, a rugby player, and the conversation starts flowing instantly. The drinks are also flowing and after a few, he tells me that he thinks he might be bisexual. ‘That’s interesting,’ I say. ‘What led you to that conclusion?’ He looks me right in the eye, takes a deep breath and then asks me, ‘Have you ever pegged anyone? I think I’d really like to try it.’
Things were going so well and now I’m feeling flat. This is a first date but yet again, a guy thinks it’s an anything goes situation. I try to be polite – I’m not here to kink shame – and change the topic of conversation. Then, I make my excuses and leave.
Tonight, I’m staying in as a matter of principle. As I’m relaxing at home, another match pops up and asks if I’d like to FaceTime. I’m looking pretty good, my hair is still done from my lunch date, so I agree. We chat for hours, but it feels like minutes, and I’m laughing so much. It feels nice to talk normally with someone, with none of the hypersexual chat. The conversation restores my faith in dating and we agree to meet up on Sunday.
Saturday
I don’t rely solely on apps to meet people. I’m a confident person, so when I go out I’m always open-minded about meeting a potential match. I think it can be hard for men to approach women these days and guys often tell me they worry about women thinking they’re creeps. But it’s tough for everyone. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve caught eyes with someone but we’ll just stare at each other all night, both afraid to make the first move. What did we even do before dating apps?
I head to the gym and while I’m thinking about all this, I spot someone who’s always in there at the same time as me. I decide to go over and ask him if he’d like to train together sometime. But things don’t go well at all. He seems suspicious of me, and then sputters out a reply, explaining that he’s in the gym at different times so can’t train with anyone. Then he leaves and I feel so embarrassed. I’m trying my hardest here, but nothing seems to be working.
Sunday
I’m hopeful about tonight’s date. We’ve spoken on FaceTime but if this week has taught me anything, it’s that you can be wrong about people.
My hope is that I can meet someone who just enjoys me for me and who I can have fun with. This guy seems like he could be that person and I think much more vetting was needed for the others, like, a lot more vetting.
So, let’s see where things go. There must be at least one decent man in this city, I just have to find him first.
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