Bride Wants to 'Kick Out' Bridesmaid Because She's 'Shown Zero Interest' in Her Wedding
"How do I handle this without completely blowing everything up?" the bride asked on Reddit
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A bride and a bridesmaid (stock image)A bride wants to fire her lifelong friend as bridesmaid because she's "shown zero interest" in her wedding — and their friendship.
In a post on Reddit's "Wedding" forum, the bride explained that she and the bridesmaid have known each other since kindergarten but their relationship has ebbed and flowed over the years. More recently, the bride has noticed that she is the one putting all the effort into their friendship.
"Anytime we do see each other is me driving the hour to her city. Looking back, it seems like the only time we communicate is when I initiate it," she wrote.
When the bride began to plan her wedding, she asked her friend to serve as a bridesmaid because she "felt obligated" to include her. Now, however, she is regretting the decision and wants to drop her from the bridal party.
"How can I thoughtfully ask her to just come as a guest instead?" she asked, seeking advice, while noting that her family and other friends "have told me for years it’s a one-sided friendship and that I need to give it up."
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A bridesmaid at a salon (stock image)Related: Bridesmaid 'Uninvited' to Close Friend's Wedding After Refusing to Spend $130 on Her Bouquet
Further demonstrating that she is not invested in the friendship, the bridesmaid skipped the bride's engagement party and has since shown no interest in the wedding plans.
The bride concluded her post, which she titled "How to kick out a bridesmaid?" by asking the Reddit community "how to handle this without blowing everything up."
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In the comments, many people agreed that there is no easy way to navigate the situation but wondered why the bride was fretting over a friendship that seems to have fizzled out.
"There's really no way to ensure it doesn’t blow up the friendship because if she’s going to be offended, she’s going to be offended. But it doesn’t sound like it’s a friendship worth salvaging anyway," one person wrote. "So I’d just rip off the bandage and be polite, but direct. Tell her that it seems you guys have grown apart and … you don’t think being a bridesmaid is in anyone’s best interest."
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A disappointed bride (stock image)Another Redditor chimed in: "Why are you holding on to the friendship, if you don't mind me asking With all due respect, it doesn't seem like this person adds value to your life, or has had any positive impact for a while. Holding on to people just for the sake of it won't do you any good, and just because they were once an important part of your life, doesn't mean it has to stay this way forever."
Still, others encouraged the bride to consider whether she is making the right choice to remove her friend from her bridesmaid role.
"If you think it's a genuine friendship, and she really does care about you, then removing her as a bridesmaid will hurt her and damage the friendship. If you're ready for the friendship to be damaged or ended, then go ahead, but if you want to maintain it, you should find a way to be happy with her in the wedding," they wrote.
"Also ask yourself what harm it does to leave her in the wedding. Why would it bother you to do so?" they continued, adding, "Just make sure you're looking at it with an open mind."
Another person advised the bride to take the wedding out of the equation and ask herself if she wishes to remain friends with the bridesmaid. "If the answer is yes, you'd like to remain friends, then do nothing," they commented. "If she shows up at your wedding on time and in the right outfit, great. Maybe over time your friendship will strengthen again. Or will naturally die out. Either way, nothing will be your fault."
