My boss ended our relationship the week before our work trip
How I was dumped is a Yahoo UK column in which anonymous writers share the shocking and heart-wrenching ways their relationship ended.
Tim*, 43, was stunned when his girlfriend of three years, Sandra*, 45, who was also his boss, dumped him the week before their work trip.
"Never date your co-worker." It’s advice often given, but I chose to ignore it and learned my lesson the hard way.
Sandra and I dated for three wonderful years. We met online during the pandemic. I’d been newly hired by the company she worked for, and Sandra helped ease me into the role, making a daunting experience feel exciting.
She had been working in the company for just over a year and knew what it was like to be the 'new person' in the office. We both bonded over our work in the media and the fact that we are both single parents to stubborn teenagers. I looked forward to our daily Zoom meetings and couldn’t wait to meet her in person.
Sandra was stuck in Hong Kong when we first met via Zoom and when we finally had an in-person meeting six months later, I was immediately smitten. She had a brilliant mind, was incredibly curious about the world and quick-thinking. I already had a huge crush on her, but she was even more beautiful in real life.
Becoming my boss
I asked her out a week after meeting in person and we soon became inseparable. Everyone in the office knew we were dating, but we did our best to keep it as professional as possible.
Working together whilst dating was a job in itself, but it was 100% worth it. We both respected and valued each other’s opinions and knew the importance of communication in our relationship.
It was bittersweet for me when Sandra was promoted to be my boss. I was so proud of her, but when we’d first started dating we’d been on the same level.
To be honest, it was bittersweet for me when Sandra was promoted to be my boss. I was so proud of her and excited for her achievement, but when we’d first started dating we’d been on the same level. I was nervous about how things would change, both in our romantic and work relationship. Would our colleagues think I was getting special treatment? And how would clients react when they found out I was dating the boss?
Cracks starting to show
Everything was fine at first. Although we often had different editorial opinions, we did our best to stay professional. We spent most of our time working together in the office and always had lunch together, but set a strict rule that work chat was off limits as soon as we were out of office hours.
But as time went on, that became more and more difficult. We’re both passionate people when it comes to work, and at some point, it felt like we were walking on eggshells to keep each other happy.
We ended up in a full-blown screaming match in front of the whole company, at one point, even calling each other incompetent.
Things took a turn for the worse the week before one of our quarterly conferences. We had completely opposing views on not only the scope of our work but also how to approach it. We ended up in a full-blown screaming match in front of the whole company, at one point, even calling each other incompetent.
Our co-workers looked horrified. None of our colleagues said anything to our faces, but we knew they were talking about the incident. It was humiliating. Neither of us should have acted that way.
Sandra broke up with me that night. She said she was mortified by how unprofessional we’d been and I completely agreed. We should never have spoken to each other like that, but I was still shocked that she wanted to give up on our relationship because of just one argument.
In hindsight, maybe it was a long time coming – we had been fighting more than usual – but I expected an actual conversation about it at the bare minimum. I was angry that we’d let work get in the way of a good relationship and heartbroken that it was too late to fix it.
Word quickly got around that we’d split up, and it felt like all of our co-workers were talking about the breakup behind our backs.
We tried our best to stay civil at work and carry on as if nothing had happened between us. But with a work trip around the corner, the fact we’d broken up came out pretty quickly, which only made things more awkward. We’d always shared a hotel room and this time we had to ask for a second room.
As soon as Sandra put in the request, word quickly got around that we’d split up, and it felt like all of our co-workers were talking about the breakup behind our backs. We were rarely invited to the same outings, and when we were, we’d sit as far away from each other as possible.
Moving on
It’s been eight months since Sandra and I broke up, and I finally look forward to going into the office again. After our split I avoided it as much as possible – I hated seeing her every day and acting as if I didn’t miss her. But we had a conversation a month after returning from our work trip and both mutually decided that our breakup was the best decision we could have made.
I hated seeing her every day and acting as if I didn’t miss her.
We both love our jobs and it wasn’t fair on either of us to bring work into our relationship, or vice versa. Unless we could learn how to separate the two, I realised our relationship would never work.
In the meantime, I’ve started dating again. A few friends have set me up on blind dates and I’ve even signed up for a few dating apps, which is something entirely new to me. I haven’t met anyone serious yet, but this time, I know I won’t be signing up for another office romance.
*Names have been changed to protect identities.
Read more: All of Yahoo UK's How I was dumped stories.
