Okay, I Actually Feel Sorry For These 60 People Who Just Had A Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way Worse Month Than You
If you're having the absolute worst start to 2024, just remember...
1.The person whose bathroom is completely frozen solid:
2.The person whose screwdriver antics really screwed up their day:
3.The person who got a beautiful dress for a rotisserie chicken:
4.The person who's going to spend the next 5 to 10 years of their life reorganizing these cards:
5.The person who learned a very valuable winter lesson:
6.The person who likes their books extra clean, apparently:
7.The person who at least owned up to their mistake:
8.The person who likes to sleep surrounded by chocolaty flavors:
9.The person who now has SOUP VISION:
10.The person who's about to have the most sour lunch of all time:
11.The person who just put up the saddest sale of all time:
12.The person whose package was hidden perfectly under a layer of snow:
13.The person who'd better grab themself a mop:
14.The person whose fallen lasagna is a testament to man's folly:
15.The person whose car, much like the great Sir Ernest Shackleton's ship Endurance, is trapped in ice:
16.The person whose tire looks absolutely gorgeous:
17.The person who, quite simply, dropped the darn dough:
18.The person whose passenger seat might be ruined, but at least it smells amazing:
19.The person whose headphone is so close, yet so far:
20.The person whose vacation is about to get seriously derailed:
21.The person whose cake went skydiving:
22.The person who now must live out the rest of their days in the basement:
23.The person who picked a fight with the wrong tree:
24.The person whose lemon is begging to be put out of its misery:
25.The person who made sure no one will ever be comfortable again:
26.The person who hasn't unlocked the path to their home yet:
27.The person who might want to throw on the heat right quick:
28.The person who got a little extra for free with their soup:
29.The person who got a very special "Oops! All Fives" deck of cards:
Majestic.
30.The person who experienced a tragic kitchen avalanche:
31.The person whose sandwich is an affront to all things good and tasty:
32.The person who committed the cardinal sin of slow cooking:
33.The person whose car is doing the dang stanky leg:
34.The person with the cleanest car this side of the mighty Mississipp':
35.The person who is witnessing incredible acts of body contortion on their plane ride:
36.The person who was kind enough to share their fruit with some friends:
37.The person whose potatoes had a little extra cronch:
38.The person whose sink shall sink no longer:
39.The person who, I hope, learned a very important milkshake lesson:
40.The person who had the unthinkable happen:
41.The person whose omelette just got a very special ingredient:
42.The person who is going to spend the rest of their earthly days organizing this box:
43.The person whose thoughtful gift is now stuck in a tree:
44.The person who just invented a new flavor of oatmeal:
45.The person who did the thing:
46.The person who will be avoiding any and all open flames today:
47.The person who just ordered a plate of sticks:
48.The person whose jeans just got a fresh, new makeover:
49.The person whose package will be in their mailbox until the end of time:
50.The person who spilled black paint tastefully up and down their carpeted stairs:
51.The person whose rear end is about to be experiencing subzero temperatures:
52.The person who tried the oldest excuse in the book:
53.The person who'd better get a-workin' on a shelter:
54.The person whose mirror is looking minty fresh:
55.The person whose once-pristine baseboards are now forever sullied by the stew they loved the most:
56.The person who's going to have to get creative about leaving their house real soon:
57.The person who visited an old friend inside a pepper today:
58.The person who was kind enough to share their skewer with some tiny, little critters:
59.The person whose bathtub water is meddling in some dark-sided stuff:
60.And the person who is going to have to Flintstones their way home:
Yabba dabba dang...
