60 Poor, Miserable People Who Just Had A Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much Worse Month Than You
If you just had the absolute worst month, just remember...
1.The person who learned a very valuable lesson that day:
2.The person who has their couch riiiiight where they want it:
3.The person who straight up got goop all over their car:
4.The person with the sweetest car around:
5.The person who went Kool Aid Man-mode on their door:
6.The person who will never, ever forgive the birds who did this:
7.The person whose dad is very happy with them, I'm sure:
8.The person who experienced true tragedy:
9.The person who has to hope that little scratch will buff out:
10.The person who shall never leave their home:
11.The person who must immediately vacate the premises:
12.The person who will be cleaning up detergent until the dang cows come home:
13.The person whose trash committed some, frankly, trash behavior:
14.The person who got a little extra iron in their soup:
15.The person whose sandwich went on the ride of a lifetime:
16.The person who, thankfully, found that lost cooler with the front of their car:
17.The person who learned a very valuable lesson that day:
18.The person who straight up fell through a suburban trap door:
19.The person whose phone will permanently be taking pictures from Candy Land:
20.The person who experienced the joys of the great North:
21.The person who watched their dreams get smashed right before their eyes:
22.The person who's going to have to do that intense lean forward reserved only for 4th quarters of close basketball games the entire movie:
23.The person whose headphones just got squeaky clean:
24.The person who loves their dentist very much, I'm sure:
25.The person who is going to be finding pillow residue until the end of time:
26.The person who is now stranded in the desert and lost to time:
27.The person whose pizza has SEEN some things... terrible, terrible things:
28.The person who whacked their window wildly with a warlike weed whacker:
29.The person who might want to try to buff that out:
30.The person whose Mickey Mouse pancakes just solved the Lament Configuration:
31.The person whose egg looks extra hole-y:
32.The person who gets to unwrap their tomato like a present:
33.The person who got a free little treat with their ice cream:
I'm so, so sorry.
34.The person who got a Pulitzer quality photo from their mother:
35.The person whose beans blew up:
36.The person who got the greatest gift of all — a dirty bathtub:
37.The person whose vision might be a little blurry for a little while:
38.The person who is currently in the midst of a haircut emergency:
39.The person who got a little extra CRONCH in their soup:
40.The person who AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA:
41.The person who has a stinky goop on their doorknob, dear Liza, dear Liza:
42.The person who will be cleaning glass out of their oven for weeks:
43.The person who will not be having that drink anytime soon:
44.The person whose pillow went kaboom in the dryer:
45.The person who got a cup of Hot:
46.The person who paid a barber to mess up their entire world:
47.The person who got a very, very rude awakening:
48.The person who lost the avocado lottery:
49.The person who went the wrong way... the very, very wrong way:
50.The person who's having impromptu dessert for dinner:
51.The person whose sandwich went absolutely NUCLEAR:
52.The person who's eating fried spatula for supper, just like ma used to make:
53.The person with Schrödinger's iPhone:
54.The person whose foot has seen things... terrible things:
AHHHHH!!!!
55.The person who found a mysterious entity in their waffle:
56.The person who's going their insides a fresh coat of paint:
57.The person who lives near some avian super fans of Jackson Pollock:
58.The person who sandwich is now in the great beyond:
59.There person who REALLY needed to get inside their house:
60.And the person who will never share their dreams every again:
Oooooooooof.
