3 common sex moves that ruin relationships, according to experts
Sexy, can I?
Sex is an important but sometimes complicated part of romantic relationships.
And from not having much of it to ditching condoms when they do, it’s something Gen Z in particular seems to be struggling with.
But several experts have weighed in to share the common mistakes that can ruin the mood — and even a whole relationship.
Don’t worry if you’ve already pulled these moves, though: They also shared their advice on how to fix the situation and better spice things up.
Ignoring your partner’s needs and boundaries
“Acts that tend to become problematic are those where one partner’s needs or boundaries are ignored,” relationship coach Katie Flowers told the Daily Mail.
“When intimacy becomes a one-sided experience, where one partner’s needs take precedence over the other’s comfort or enjoyment, it can lead to disconnection.”
Fortunately, the opposite is also true. Connecting and communicating with your partner will allow both of you to feel more comfortable to enjoy the experience fully.
“If you are only thinking about yourself when it comes to sex, and not taking into consideration the pleasure of your partner, then your intimacy could break down,” Annabelle Knight, a sex and relationships expert at UK sex toy and lingerie purveyor Lovehoney, told Daily Mail.
For example, skipping foreplay and going straight for penetration can be both a turnoff and make sex less enjoyable for both parties.
Sex is about more than reaching the proverbial finish line — communicate beyond dirty talk and have fun.
Begging for a sex act
Asking “for something the other person doesn’t want to do” and “going on about it” can also ruin the mood, Cindy Gallop, campaigner and founder of sexual self-help site MakeLoveNotPorn, told the Daily Mail.
She noted that this typically happens with men pestering women about anal sex.
“Men want anal sex. But you don’t get to have anal sex when your partner doesn’t want to try it,” Gallop said. “You also don’t get it by begging her, insisting ‘everybody else is doing it’ or sending her porn videos.”
Instead, the expert advised that focusing on the other person’s pleasure “in every creative way you can” will likely make them more willing to explore new moves with you.
“Ensure that the sex you’re having is all about [them], and giving [them] such a good time, that [they] will be increasingly open to wanting to explore new experiences together,” Gallop said.
Thinking there’s a right way to have sex
Although there are definitely some wrong ways to have sex — as listed above — there is not necessarily a correct one.
“One of the biggest mistakes people might be making make in the bedroom is thinking there’s a ‘right’ way to have sex,” Knight said.
“‘It’s easy to get caught up in worrying about performance or whether you’re doing something ‘wrong,’ but remember sex is all about connection and pleasure.”
People often compare their sex lives to others’, but there’s no set number for how often you should be having sex.
As long as you’re comfortable with how often you’re getting it on, that’s enough.
“There’s also a lot of pressure out there to have more sex, but honestly, it’s all about quality over quantity,” Knight said.
