This Woman Wants To Take Her Friend's Baby Shower Gift Back—For the Cruelest Reason
One of the best parts of friendships is cheering your inner circle on during life's biggest and most exciting milestones—such as new jobs, weddings, and babies. But, when things don't go according to plan, do you have the right to renege on good friend duties? One person is sparking major controversy on the Reddit subgroup, "Am I the A**hole?," by asking their peers if it's okay to ask for a baby shower gift back.
Let's back up, shall we? According to Reddit, the anonymous poster discusses their discomfort and uncertainty surrounding a gift they and their husband gave to Jen, a "high-earning" family friend who set up a baby shower registry full of expensive items when she announced her second pregnancy. The author's husband purchased a $400 gift from the registry, despite the poster finding it strange that Jen was hosting another baby shower, given that she likely still had items from her first child.
A few weeks after receiving the gift, Jen unfortunately suffered a traumatic miscarriage, which might jeopardize her chances of getting pregnant in the future. "It's incredibly sad, and while I'm not close with Jen, my heart hurt for her," the poster wrote. Though the writer and their husband felt for Jen, they also thought that it was a waste if the present just sat unused—and wanted to ask that Jen return it to them.
While there are some commenters who support the original poster—one even said it was "tacky to have multiple baby showers asking for expensive gifts"—the vast majority of people are Team Jen. (And, honestly? At House Beautiful, so are we.)
One follower states the obvious by writing, "She’s just lost her baby and her fertility; don’t kick someone when they’re down." Meanwhile, another person mentioned that gifts don't come with "terms and conditions" and to consider the money gone. (It makes sense! After all, would you ask for a wedding present back if a couple got a divorce a few years later?) A third criticized the poster's spending habits, adding that "if [they] were not comfortable with the price, spend less next time."
We know navigating the ever-changing norms of modern etiquette can be challenging, but let's make one thing clear: If a friend is going through one of the toughest and most tragic life moments, have their back. In fact, one commenter offered a kind alternative. "I always thought I was suppose to give extra (non-baby) gifts to my friends who had miscarriages," they wrote. "Like take her to the spa or an activity to make her feel better."
Even the original poster was convinced by that logic, updating the post by writing, "I appreciate the feedback I've gotten. We will not be asking Jen about the gift."
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