The Witches review: A bland and neutered version of Roald Dahl's book
There's an entire generation likely scarred forever by Nicolas Roeg's 1990 adaptation of Roald Dahl's The Witches, a genuinely terrifying family movie with an unforgettable performance from Anjelica Huston.
Some people would immediately baulk at the idea that somebody else decided to adapt The Witches for the screen, but why can't a new generation get their own movie that could traumatise them no less?
With Robert Zemeckis directing, Guillermo del Toro among the producers and Anne Hathaway taking on the daunting task of following in Huston's footsteps, there was promise that this new adaptation could be just as creepy and memorable.
Unfortunately though, it's hard to imagine any children being shaken by this surprisingly bland and neutered take on Dahl's dark tale of the Grand High Witch and the child out to stop her.
Related: The Witches will now be available to watch at home in the UK
The action might have been transported to Alabama in 1968, but The Witches otherwise remains faithful to Dahl's novel.
Following the death of his parents, a young boy (Jahzir Kadeem Bruno) goes to stay with his Grandma (Octavia Spencer) in the rural town of Demopolis, Alabama. After an encounter with a mysterious woman, Grandma falls ill and decides to take the boy to a glamorous seaside hotel for a break.
Secretly it's because Grandma thinks they'll be safe from witches there, but she's unaware that at the same time they arrive at the hotel, the International Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children are holding their convention – and they're really a coven of diabolical witches led by the Grand High Witch (Hathaway).
She's got an evil plan to rid the world of children for good and it's up to the boy and his Grandma to stop her.
Dahl was said to have found the 1990 version of his book to be "utterly appalling" due to its daring to not stick closely to his original text. That's not an accusation you can apply to Zemeckis's version, as it is faithful, by and large, to the book, including the one big aspect that Roeg changed (no spoilers, just in case).
As a result, however, it doesn't exactly bring much fresh to the table for anyone familiar with the tale. The change of location to 1968 Alabama brings a few nods to racial tensions of the time, but doesn't drastically alter the way the story plays out. As a result, the movie needed to deliver on other key aspects to overcome its familiarity and it doesn't.
Anne Hathaway gives it her all as the Grand High Witch, but with an accent that wanders all over Europe and beyond, her performance is more high camp than creepy in any way. She's not helped by the bizarre decision to add Joker-esque facial scars to all the witches because these witches can extend their mouths (with the aid of CGI). Very little ones might be scared, but it looks too fake to have an impact on anyone else.
It's a complaint that could be levelled at other aspects of The Witches. Notable scenes have been given a modern technical boost by Zemeckis, such as the Grand High Witch's true form reveal, but at no point do the effects prove as horrifying and impactful as the memorable prosthetics of the 1990 movie.
This take on The Witches is all a bit too polished and comes across bland as a result. Octavia Spencer's warm performance and chemistry with Jahzir Kadeem Bruno tries its best to engage you, but a twist robs the latter half of the movie of that too, so there's nothing really to involve you in the finale.
It's worth noting that this adaptation is aimed at children who wouldn't have seen the 1990 version, so comparisons might be unfair. Any quibbles over its familiar plot and pale imitations of scenes we've seen before won't apply to anyone coming fresh to the movie.
But when the original movie still holds up 30 years later, the question is why would you show them this polished, but ineffective, version of The Witches over the original?
The Witches is released on HBO Max in the US on October 22 and is available to rent in the UK from October 26.
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