Your Weekly Tarot Card Reading, Based on Your Sign
You don't need to know the difference between a three-card and a Celtic cross spread to get the most out of a tarot card reading. All you need: your Sun sign! Here's what I do: Shuffle my tarot deck and pull out the cards in order from Aries to Pisces, plus one general card for everyone, so that you can get specific advice around your personality. Let’s go!
A GENERAL CARD FOR EVERYONE: THE TOWER
The Tower is a tough card, there’s no sugar-coating it. Its energy is destructive, like a cosmic *Miley Cyrus voice* wrecking ball. So we’re all heading for a reality check and a sudden, impactful event this week. Brace yourselves with the faith that this is all unfolding for a good reason. Whatever is lost will be replaced by something much better.
ARIES: THE EMPEROR
You’re a natural boss b*tch, Aries, and you like to lead the pack. The Emperor is with you this week, which means we need your leadership skills. Don’t wait for others to make decisions—take charge and set an example. You are great at making the right choice instinctively, so rely on your gut.
TAURUS: FIVE OF SWORDS
You're strong and stoic but even you, Taurus, can only take SO much before you lose your cool. The Five of Swords hints that your emotional ~volcano~ is likely to erupt this week if things don’t change, so try to minimize the damage. Focus on the right person and tell them how you feel with assertion, not aggression.
GEMINI: SEVEN OF COINS
Just because you’ve come a long way with someone, or something, does not mean you have to stick with it. The Seven of Coins marks a crossroad— review your progress, and try to be objective. Is this still working for you?Is it sustainable? Is it still what you want? Ask and answer these questions, and make a bold decision this week.
CANCER: THE MAGICIAN
The Magician is a wonderful card about putting your natural talents to good use, whether it's starting a new project, taking on a new role, or even starting your own business. Don’t hide your light, Cancer—you’ve got skills, and it’s your duty to share them. Get rewarded for what comes easily to you.
LEO: THE EMPRESS
Look at that sexy and creative passion swirling around you this week, Leo! Who are you crushing on? The romantic Empress tells you that they feel the same way, bb. So, make your move and slide into those DMs. This card represents Venus, so your powers of attraction and desirability are *chef's kiss*. Your love life can be 🔥right now, even if you're flirting and sexting from a distance.
VIRGO: PAGE OF CUPS
Were you a Girl Scout, Virgo? I bet you were, and I bet you had allllll the badges. The Page of Cup's vibes this week go back to childhood hobbies, so see if you can find your old sash. This card points to wholesome, innocent, and fun activities that make us feel peaceful, calm, and creative. Immerse yourself in the mems, and enjoy.
LIBRA: PAGE OF WANDS
Your infamous indecisiveness is going to make you a pain the ass this week, Libra! The Page of Wands has you here, there, and everywhere—starting projects and then forgetting them to start other projects; making plans and then conveniently ~forgetting~ them when you find something better to do. If you're not sure you want to do something, Libra, don't commit to it in the first place! You’ll only annoy people, which leads to—SHOCK, HORROR—conflict. And we know how you hate conflict.
SCORPIO: JUDGMENT
Judgment is a powerful card about closing a chapter in your life, leaving you with a new understanding of what went down. You can accept the role you played, atone for your wrongs, see the life lessons you learned, and decide what step you want to take next. In closing it down so ~cleanly~, you're free to move on.
SAGITTARIUS: THE LOVERS
Conflicted feelings come hand-in-hand with the fickle Lovers card, so you’re in for a confusing and ~interesting~ week. Lean into the uncertainty and avoid try taking a firm position. You just don’t know how you feel yet, and until you do, you can’t commit. So don't make a choice. Keep your options open. By June, you'll be ready to make a decision.
CAPRICORN: FIVE OF COINS
No regrets, no fears, no looking back, Cap. The Five of Coins comes up when we’re picking at our scabs—don’t do this! You should be healing, not dwelling on old pains. So resolve to move forward. Put this whole episode back on the shelf and mark it Case Closed.
AQUARIUS: THE CHARIOT
The Chariot represents purpose, movement, and travel. You're starting a mission—hopefully not an impossible one. You're full of ambition, ready to tackle a new goal. Be purposeful and powerful. If you can focus your energy, you can get sh*t done this week.
PISCES: FIVE OF CUPS
You have a sentimental heart, Pisces, and you often find yourself getting nostalgic and missing people who are no longer in your life. The Five of Cups reveals that an echo from your past will ring out this week, and you might revisit the old feelings. Don’t try to silence this echo, but don’t dwell on it, either. You moved on for a good reason, so let the memory remain a memory.
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