Vampire Diaries Recap: Breaking Up (With the Devil) Is Hard to Do

A whole lot of bad stuff went down on Friday’s Vampire Diaries, but nothing more distressing than the #SterolineJuneWedding’s cancellation — at least for now.

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Following the discovery that her daughters had been taken, Caroline decided to get her ducks in a row… and none of those ducks answered to the name Stefan Salvatore. “Until this is all over, there’s no us,” she told him, handing back his engagement ring. “There’s only me, and my kids and their father. … I can’t afford any distractions or compromises, especially when it comes to your brother.” (Oh, Damon, is there anyone’s life you haven’t ruined?)

To his credit, Alaric also immediately shifted into Taken mode — including delivering what I’m pretty sure was a word-for-word recital of Liam Neeson’s phone call from the first movie — as he vowed to play Pin the Knife on the Nanny with Seline. And this was all before they knew that Seline was plotting to offer up Lizzie and Josie to Cade as his new “missionaries,” thus relieving the current siren sisters of their sacrificial duties.

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But little did Caroline suspect that another plan was being hatched: Stefan agreed to serve Cade with Damon in place of the twins! (And as an extra “f–k you” to Seline, who couldn’t be trusted with a simple task like freeing her sister from a magical evil vault, Sybil made a deal on the side to screw Seline for all eternity.)

Sure, Caroline eventually came to her senses and returned Stefan’s engagement ring to its rightful finger, but once he told her about his deal with Cade, she knew it was too little, too late. There were waterworks (“You promised me a June wedding!”) and a slight silver lining (“The one condition was that I get to spend my last 24 hours of freedom with you!”), but we all know this isn’t going to end well. I mean, Stefan is literally dead in the promo for next week’s Christmas episode if that’s any indication.

Now, for some scattered thoughts…

I loved…

* Sybil and Seline’s sisterly bickering at the diner. It’s nice to know that all siblings, even ancient ones with a taste for human flesh, have petty disagreements. (Line of choice, via Sybil: “Oh, I’m sorry, did my freedom ruin your idiotic plan to kidnap children?”)

* Candice King’s incredible performance this episode; Paul Wesley wasn’t kidding when he speculated that it was her best one yet. From her powerful speech to Alaric about not being the girls’ “real” mother (“Don’t you ever throw that in my face again!”) to her eventual acceptance that she’s a danger to them both (“Take them away from me…”), King really gave this one her all. And that’s not including her aforementioned speech about the June wedding.

* Sybil’s gross hand! I thought I was desensitized after watching this show for 7+ seasons, but I totally gasped when that cop discovered Sybil’s nasty little claw.

* Bonnie and Enzo’s romantic moments. Sure, they were few and far between — Enzo did, after all, spend most of the hour on a mental operating table being cut into by Sybil — but when they did happen, they hit me hard.

I did not love…

* The siren humming. (Sorry, I always giggle.)

* That we’re expected to believe Matt and Alaric really killed Damon for good. (We all saw that promo for next week’s episode. He’s alive, and he’s enjoying a fine Christmas feast!)

Your thoughts on this week’s episode? Are you worried about the fate of the #SterolineJuneWedding? Whatever’s on your mind, drop it in a comment below.

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