There's Never Been a Better Time to Buy a USPS Tee
If you've never wasted the better half of an afternoon habitually refreshing the page with your package's tracking information—even though a representative from USPS wearily assured you (multiple times!) it wouldn't be arriving before 8 p.m.—you and I are not the same. I mean shit, man, hearing the telltale sound of that van slowly lumbering down my driveway is still music to my ears. The whimpering screech of wheels coming to a halt next to the curb to deposit my latest eagerly anticipated cop is sweeter than any fucking Chopin concerto, no doubt about it.
Since the late 1700s, the United States Postal Service has delivered mail—through rain, snow, sleet, or shine—to Americans across the country, wherever they may be. These days, though, the storied institution you love to hate is in a state of crisis. Its leadership is, to put it extremely mildly, in a state of disarray. It faces increasingly fierce competition from relative upstarts like FedEx. (Fuck you, FedEx!) And now the president of the whole damn country is casting aspersions on the veracity of mail-in voting in a shameless attempt to suppress voter turnout this upcoming election.
The USPS needs your help. But don't do it for me. Don't even do it for them. Do it for yourself. Because, like any respectable government institution worth its weight in Forever Stamps, the USPS happens to stock some of the sweetest officially licensed merchandise around, including a selection of tees that telegraph your support via endearingly on-the-nose messaging. Look at this stuff! Speedy Delivery sounds like the band that came in second place in your high school's talent show that one year, except now I'm finally ready to give their mixtape a listen.
You might have your own gripes with the USPS' delivery process, speedy or not, but what is life if not one long wait for a package that never seems like it'll arrive? The USPS is a lifeline for everyone from diehard clothing enthusiasts in densely populated cities to isolated folks, especially in rural communities, who need that connection to the world at large—and want their clothes delivered promptly, too. It still deserves your respect (and frankly, NASA's had a stranglehold on government-logo streetwear appropriation for far too long).
Show your support for an American institution by copping a tee and then thanking your postal workers, the real heroes of this whole mess, every time you see 'em. (And vote. For god's sake, people, please vote.)
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