Filmmaker Paul Schrader has slated the 'pussified' producers of his new movie for halted production after an actor tested positive for coronavirus.
Aubrey Plaza hosted the 2020 Independent Spirit Awards on Saturday and, of course, her opening was full of jokes that poked fun at not only attendees but bigger issues plaguing the world.Plaza started her hosting gig with a skit that showed her in the dressing room, having a meltdown before the start of the awards show. Judy Garland (also played by Plaza) suddenly appeared, giving her advice in typical Garland fashion.“Scorsese is doing films for Netflix, Sandler is doing dramas!” Plaza’s Garland said, poking fun at the state of independent film.Also Read: Independent Spirit Awards 2020: Willem Dafoe Wins Best Supporting MaleThen, after a brief make-out session with Garland, Plaza went on stage to sing a rendition of Garland’s “Get Happy,” before she called out individual attendees like Jennifer Lopez, Adam Sandler, Idina Menzel and Renée Zellweger.Later, Plaza and Michael Shannon parodied “The Lighthouse,” which starred Willem Dafoe and Robert Pattinson. In the skit, the duo played lighthouse keepers who just don’t get along, and when Plaza sees Shannon writing something in his log and asks him what he’s writing, Shannon tells her, “Nautical things.” She grabs the log and sees that he clearly didn’t like her opening monologue — and he especially didn’t like that she called out Shia LaBeouf and his career in her opening. Seagull and farting jokes were aplenty.See Plaza’s best jokes below.1\. Garland told Plaza before she went on stage: “Do something they’ll enjoy, not your spooky ‘Sabrina the Teenage B—-‘ thing!”2\. “What do we have to be happy about? Look at all the disasters we have to deal with: pollution, trash in the ocean, ‘Cats’ in theaters! Meow!”3\. “Some of you came from other neighborhoods in Los Angeles for this!”4\. “Willem Dafoe, I love you and I’m so glad that after years of looking like a 19th-century lighthouse keeper, you finally got to play one!”Also Read: Aubrey Plaza to Return as Host of 2020 Film Independent Spirit Awards5\. “The guy who runs Netflix is here, Ted Sarandos! Sorry, Ted, but I am going to scroll right past you and find more interesting people to talk about. No offense, but you started it!”6\. “Jennifer Lopez is here. You just performed at the Super Bowl last weekend. What did you do, Mary Kay Place? You lazy sack of s—! Just kidding, you’re a national treasure. Nicolas Cage, you are a national treasure, too! Sorry, I said that wrong — you were in ‘National Treasure 2.'”7. “I’m hosting the second most important show of the weekend. The Independent Spirit Awards are so much cooler than the Oscars: it’s the daytime when we’re at the beach, we recognize female directors — all two of them! I am so proud of how diverse this show is. JLo and I are super hot Puerto Ricans! I mention that because Puerto Rico is kind of like an independent film: beautiful, not enough people have seen it and its financing is always falling through.”8\. “Today isn’t about Scarlett Johansson being with men who don’t deserve her. It’s about independent film!”9\. “I won’t sing again. I might pole dance only to show JLo how it’s done.”10\. “Next, we celebrate the success of ‘Honeyland,’ by releasing 100,000 bees into the tent! NO!!!!”11\. “Our next presenter is Hollywood royalty and a legend in independent film — I wanna scream like an unhinged maniac but that’s more his thing — Nicolas Cage, everyone!”12\. “And here to present the Best Feature… ugh. It’s always weird to see your ex in public. The producer and star of ‘The Irishman,’ Robert De Niro!”Read original story Independent Spirit Awards 2020: Aubrey Plaza’s Best Jokes At TheWrap
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