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Are you suffering from Instagramxiety?

'A day that had begun so well quickly descended into a frenzy of self-doubt' - REUTERS
'A day that had begun so well quickly descended into a frenzy of self-doubt' - REUTERS

The sharp, familiar pang hit me as soon as I saw the image. A writer I know had a piece in a publication – a publication I’d just had a polite ‘no’ from on a pitch – and, as most writers do, posted the finished article to Instagram.

A mixture of envy, self-judgement and criticism coursed through me. How had she managed that? Why not me? I felt sub-standard – must try harder, I chastised myself on the morning train. And a day that had begun so well quickly descended into a frenzy of self-doubt. I had a new affliction: Instagramxiety. And I know I'm not alone.

Today is the beginning of mental health awareness week. The theme is stress – a key factor in mental health problems such as anxiety and depression – and in a world in which social media demands ever more of our attention, levels are higher than ever.

Instagram is well aware of this, it seems, having recently announced they've launched a new wellbeing team. "Making the community a safer place, a place where people feel good, is a huge priority for Instagram," said executive Eva Chen.

This move follows a survey of almost 1,500 teens and young adults by the Royal Society for Public Health last year, which ranked Instagram as the worst social media network for mental health and wellbeing – associated with high levels of anxiety, depression, bullying and FOMO, particularly in young, female users.

14 photographs that prove everything you've seen on Instagram is a lie
14 photographs that prove everything you've seen on Instagram is a lie

It sounds daft to suggest a platform where you post snaps of your dinner, cocktail or kids could make you feel down, but I'm serious: Instagram was affecting my mood on a daily basis. Just one picture, one post, could skew my face from smiling to frowning.

Friends could relate. Freelance ‘colleague’ Tamsin tells me: “If I can’t sleep I sit up and go on social media to relax and instead see thousands of posts of people going out and having fun while I’m lying awake finding all my faults under some kind of stupid magnifying glass.”

I'm serious: Instagram was affecting my mood on a daily basis. Just one picture, one post, could skew my face from smiling to frowning

Others tell me they avoid social media because they “massively compare, especially when not in a good place.” I could delete the app altogether of course, but it's a great platform in principle. I just needed to take my Instagramxiety in hand.

It’s not so much about stopping looking at the app, but being more selective about whose feeds you see, I've found, since unfollowing some people whose accounts really made me feel negative (often through no fault of their own). Some I knew personally, some were industry names I had heard of, others were famous. 

If I decide to, I can always follow them again. But I suspect life will be simpler without the effects that comparing myself to their accounts has on my emotional wellbeing.

Roxanne the whippet! Photo courtesy of @ericjrodri #whippet #whippetsofinstagram

A post shared by Whippets Of Instagram (@whippetsofinstagram) on May 19, 2016 at 12:06pm PDT

Ironically, as I was writing this piece, news broke that Instagram had crashed, causing a global meltdown on Twitter (where else) as users were unable to access their profiles or post for several hours. It felt like a relief, to be honest. I wonder who else felt the same.

The flip side of culling my own feed is that I've started worrying that I might be guilty of giving others Instagramxiety, too. A showreel of the highlights of #freelancelife doesn't accurately reflect the days of uncertainty over where my career is going and who will commission me next. With that in mind I’ve started posting with what I hope comes across as more honesty.  

I might be guilty of giving others Instagramxiety, too. A showreel of the highlights of #freelancelife doesn't accurately reflect the days of uncertainty

I’ve also sought out more accounts that lift my mood – mainly whippets, though Tamsin also alerted me to an account dedicated to llamas. It includes writers who I find honest and inspiring (Bryony Gordon is a great example), chefs (Sabrina Ghayour is hilarious; Tom Kerridge unassuming) and famous personalities who lift my mood (Davina McCall’s post-workout videos always make me smile).

Unlike Facebook, where you can hide people from your news feed, Insta is a yes or no commitment. Follow or don’t. It’s quite liberating to decide "I don’t need to see that person’s life in my phone today… or tomorrow."

Yes, I still check it throughout the day, but I hope I've found a balance, because I don't want to quit. I just want to feel better, not worse, when I scroll. 

Follow Jenny on Instagram (if you’re honest, or a whippet) @Saintallard