From passive aggressive Post-it notes to arguments over who last took the bin out, sharing a house isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be.
But one household is on the hunt for the perfect flatmate with a strict list of requirements which are so niche, it’s since gone viral.
The advertisement - which is a good few pages long - was shared on Twitter by user Mollie Goodfellow and details everything from the ideal candidate’s personal hygiene habits to a non-negotiable ban on sport.
Alongside a snap of the bizarre list of rules, Goodfellow wrote: “I’m part of this housing co-op group on FB and occasionally rooms come up on my feed and this one intrigued me and my god I am screeching.”
According to the lengthy listing, the household is looking for a “conscious female” who is not “being sold to a convenient, boring, short-sighted, consumerist life of the modern”. So far, very specific.
I’m part of this housing co-op group on FB and occasionally rooms come up on my feed and this one intrigued me and my god I am screeching pic.twitter.com/mFPBTTBOo2
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) July 21, 2019
Instead, she must have “experience in living and working in a community in a countryside where money did not change hands” - again, this may limit the number of applicants further.
“You will be fine with how you are, and how your body is, naturally (perfumes, hair sprays, deodorants and other chemical smells and products devised to mask the naturalness of the human body are not welcomed here),” the advertisement reads.
Though the ad points out that this also includes being comfortable with nudity, “that of yours and that of those around you”.
If you’re still interested in signing the contract, then you might want to ensure that you switch up your shopping habits too.
The advertisement requires someone who is willing to prepare their own meals with a strict ban on takeaways and eating out.
Though this isn’t the only social activity which puts off the current house dwellers, as they are on the lookout for someone who “values silence”.
“If you kill time watching movies, reading pulp fiction, listening to podcasts or TED talks, if you use headphones in or outdoors, excessively socialise in person or over the phone daily - we will not get on well,” the ad warns.
Well, that’s us out of the line-up then.
It didn’t take long for fellow Twitter users took to mock the post with a number highlighting the problems with the advertisement.
“You will be mature and think for yourself...” one wrote. “But her’s a long list of the things you can’t do or think or have opinions about. You need to be good at silence, being nude and open, and cleaning/cooking.”
Another pointed out the contradiction, commenting: “Not allowed privacy but also not allowed to socialise, okaaaay.”
You will be mature and think for yourself...but here's a long list of the things you can't do or think or have opinions about. You need to be good at silence, being nude and open, and cleaning/cooking. 🙄🙄🙄
— nutella is my guac (@brainyisnewsexy) July 21, 2019
Not allowed privacy but also not allowed to socialise, okaaaaay.
— Sophia McDougall (@McDougallSophia) July 21, 2019
“So basically what we’re saying is that we’re looking for someone to live with no privacy, in silence, in a house that stinks of armpits, while we constantly judge you.”
— Red Sky At Night (@redskyatnight) July 21, 2019
“You will be mature and think for yourself” — whilst adhering unquestioningly to every one of the demands on this list. Merely one of the abundance of contradictions in this list. (Looking for a woman we can control. TL;DR Patriarchy)
— Victoria Princewill FRSA (@vpofrances) July 21, 2019
Since the tweet has gone viral, Goodfellow revealed that the advertisement has been taken down.
Anyone else intrigued to find out who signed the tenancy agreement?