Which Star Wars Alien Are You?

Dunstan Tan
·6-min read

It is dinner time. Bae is asking you "eh what you want to eat ah?" “I don’t know” and “anything lah” are not valid options. What do you choose?

A - Chilli Crab - From the humble beginnings of being made with bottled chilli and tomato sauce and elevated to something far greater, the chilli crab speaks to those who are destined for great things.

B - Laksa - The richness of the coconut milk, the umami of the cockles and the spicy kick of the sambal. Lovers of laksa have a robust life with that touch of pizazz.

C - Rojak - Seemingly unrelated flavours coming together to create a beautiful fiesta of taste and textures is certainly a cause for celebration!

D - Hainanese Chicken Rice - Simple and understated yet so hard to get it just right.

E - Oyster Omelette - You know that life is what you make of it, and even when it is sometimes messy, it can still come together in the end.

F - Bah Kut Teh - There is a certain no-nonsense approach when it comes to Bah Kut Teh, whether you prefer a more herbal version or the peppery version. Sometimes life is not all about the rat race and that is okay.

It is the weekend. You and your friends have made plans to do something. What is it?

A - Nature Walks - Going on these walks help you relax, think, and get healthy.

B - Clubbing - You like your music loud and your dancing louder.

C - Casino - Because sometimes you like to feel a bit ‘atas’.

D - Botanic Gardens - Grassy knolls, rare plants, and the sound of nature abounds. You like the sense of family, history and nostalgia the gardens bring.

E - The Axe-Throwing Range - Beer and axes? What is not to love about that? Now if only they’d let us paste pictures on the targets.

F - Board Game Cafe - You like board game cafe’s because they provide a nice comfortable space to obliterate your friends and family through games of wit, luck, and social maneuvering.

The bus is full. There are no seats. Suddenly an old auntie, a teenager in a leg cast and a heavily pregnant lady steps onto the bus. What do you do?

A - Politely ask those who really don’t need it (target the ‘sleeping’ ones first!) to give out their seats. Pregnant lady first, then old auntie and finally the teenager.

B - Stand uncomfortably close to those in the priority seats who do not need it and hope they get weirded out and move away.

C - Try to start an impromptu game of ‘scissors, paper, stone’ to try and win the seats from them.

D - I would quickly chope a seat as soon as someone gets up. Then I would give it up to those who need it.

E - I would put on my best gangster face and ask all those who are sitting in the priority seats who do not need it to move. Three letter words may or may not appear in that conversation.

F - I will find the kindest looking people and ask them nicely to give up their seats, and if they are super kind, will try and enlist their help in getting more seats from other people!

Now it is time to tabulate the scores. And find out which one of these cool space beings is your Patronus. (I am allowed to mix my franchises right?)

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A - Mostly A’s. It’s a trap! You are the charismatic revolutionary leader Admiral (Gial) Ackbar! You have a strong sense of self and are a natural leader. Even when life knocks you down, you always manage to get back up and knock back!

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B - Mostly B’s. What is blue, booming and grooves to the beats? You are Max Rebo the Ortolan. Like him, you are someone who spreads colour and personality to your life and the lives of those around you. You like to keep moving and grooving and are adaptable even when life takes you to Jabba's palace.

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C - Dodibin, Thodibin and Woodibin are Suerton brothers known as the Lucky Three. You are someone who goes with the flow and things just work out. That is not to say that life does not give you lemons once in a while, but you know that you just have to stay in the game and the odds will eventually be in your favour.

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D - I may have cheated a bit here in that Kedpin Shoklop the Wermal was in a deleted scene of Episode VIII: The Last Jedi. But just take one look at this guy at tell me, is he not your spirit animal? He ‘won’ a vacation to the casino city of Canto Bight after working one hundred and two years to be ‘Salesbeing’ of the year. I say won, but Kedpin hacked the companies computers to make himself the winner after discovering that the system was actually rigged against him. You are a person who is hardworking and does their best, but who will not take things lying down especially when things are unjustly stacked against you!

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E - An alien that needs no introduction is Greedo the Rodian. We first see this bounty hunter in Episode IV: A New Hope, promptly getting a blaster in his chest. While we may never know who truly shot first, we do know that you are a go-getter and someone who takes lives hardships as just mere obstacles meant to be scaled. Sure, sometimes your temper gets the better of you, but in a world of scum and villainy, one must be able to hold their own.

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G - None of the above? You are... Chewbacca! Like the iconic Wookie, you have a strong spirit, sometimes temperamental but are always good to have around. Fiercely loyal to your friends but you do not take to being pushed around. "Let the Wookie win" should be your life's motto.

Alternative motto. "I had a Wookie, it was Chewy."