When you just quietly play on your phone and two hours later a guy walks in to deliver a 40″ television, that’s pretty baller use of Amazon Prime Now

Amazon Prime Now arrived in Singapore with such fanfare that the demand far outstripped the company’s ability to deliver.

As of now, it’s practically impossible to get delivery. But, assuming the excitement dies down or Amazon increases its resources, let’s have some fun with the weird, funny and baller items we can buy on Amazon.

Baller: A Samsung 40″ Full HD Flat Smart TV J5200 Series 5

Just picture it, sitting in the office, legs kicked-up on the desk, playing on the phone without a care. Your colleague probably looks over thinking, “what is this lazy asshole doing?”. You just smirk, grab a toothpick for effect, and continue fiddling away.

Two hours later, there is a ‘knock knock’ on the office door and two men come in carrying a large box. Quietly, without a care in the world, you have just ordered a 40″ television to the office.

Jealous colleagues just stare and shake their head. Haters gonna hate.

Weird: A single pack of Mentos Incredible Chew

For those who are unaware, Mentos Incredible Chew is the company’s answer to Hi-Chew, and this joke works way better if it is just a single pack.

While a waste of money, it is not THAT expensive and I say totally worth it. Mentos Chew costs about S$1.20 (US$0.88) and the delivery fee will be S$5.99 (US$4.40). So we are looking at about S$7.20 (US$5.30) to get a pack of Mentos Incredible Chew delivered to the office.

Also Read: In Photos, take a tour of the new Amazon fulfilment centre in Singapore

Personally, I think this is a fantastic joke to play on the CEO.

Funny: The condom + X joke

There is a fairly common “prank” amongst American teenagers. It goes like this:

• Buy a pack of condoms.

• Then buy the weirdest things you could possibly think of.

• Bring it to cash register and say absolutely nothing.

It is stupid, immature, but also harmless and honestly pretty funny. So, let’s adapt that to Amazon Prime Now. There are all sorts items on the app that would be hilarious to pair with a pack of condoms. Here are my personal favourite.

Now, this works best if the couple answers the door together, and in a flirty mood.

Baller: All the alcohol for the party

Here is how to exponentiate you baller status. Buy JUST enough booze to get the guests feeling loose and enjoying themselves. But, purposely don’t buy enough. I would suggest you buy enough for everyone to have one, maybe two, drinks.

The next part is hard, you need to time the order so the last drops of alcohol are running out right at the two-hour mark. Once people are starting to get bummed that the party is over, or are thinking about running to the shop to buy more, that is when the delivery arrives.

Slowly stride over to the man, sign the paper, stand on a table and yell, “WHO IS READY TO PARTY!?”.

A true baller would invite the delivery person to join, for without him/her this master plan would have failed.

Weird: Linksys Velop Tri-band AC2200 Whole Home WiFi Mesh System

I just don’t understand this one. I guess I understand the argument that buying WiFi gear is not overly convenient — but this is a helluva risk to take without knowing anything. Nothing is more frustrating than slow wi-fi due to terrible router.

There are certain items (a camera being the other), where the expertise and advice of the salesperson is useful. Also, being able to see the product and make sure it isn’t broken is important. Buying one via Amazon seems like a risky proposition.

Funny: Stuffed animals and plush toys for the office bully

If the office has a person who is just mean — bossing people around, yelling at interns, being an overall jerk — buy them a plush stuffed-animal every day. Make sure it is in their name so they have to sign for it.

Amazon Prime Now has Stitch, Yoda, Eeyore, Mickey Mouse and Ariel from The Little Mermaid (amongst others).

Also Read: Amazon has officially launched Prime Now in Singapore

There are two strategies, both equally as funny. Either buy this person about a dozen stuffies all at once, just to overload their desk. Or, spread it out over a week or two. Every day, at about the same time, someone comes to the office and delivers this office bully a ridiculous kids toy.

Baller: ASUS PG279Q 2K Gaming Monitor, 27″ (16:9), Black

The only reason this monitor makes the list is the price tag. At S$1,299 (US$954), it is tough to order something online that is more expensive. Plus, dropping this much cash and being able to enjoy the product the same day, without leaving the house, is pretty cool.

Asia has a strong gaming community, and if someone really wants to show off to their peers, this may be the best strategy.

Weird: Neewer Acrylic Plastic 25X20cm Dry Erase Director’s Film Clapboard

The item itself is not overly weird, but the fact that this is something I can buy on Amazon Prime Now is a bit ridiculous. If someone actually needs a clapboard, this is super convenient, but I don’t think I have every been in a situation where I thought, “you know what we need right now? A clapboard!”.

Clapboard’s occupy a weird in-between zone whereby professionals would probably already have one and amateurs would just smack their hands. But, if you need a clapboard delivered in two hours, Amazon has you covered.

Funny: An absurd amount of Milo

I was lucky enough to take a tour of the Amazon fulfilment centre and one fact was clear — they are preparing themselves for a large quantity of Milo purchases.

I call on all Singaporeans to put this to the test. If you have the resources, buy $1,000 (US$735) worth of Milo to really test the system. The goal is to eventually receive a phone call from management asking, “Sir, did you mean to buy this much Milo? I am just checking if you accidentally pressed another zero”.

“No sir, it is not a mistake. Bring it on!”

Milo towers for everyone.

Baller: Buy your daughter everything from the ‘for boys’ section

Amazon Prime now has a ‘for boys’ section and does not have a ‘for girls’ section, but that’s not really the point. The real disappointment is that there is a ‘for gender’ section at all.

I think in today’s society we understand that kids just like what they like, and little girls are just as likely to enjoy Transformers as little boys.

True baller parents will go through the ‘for boys’ section purchase a few items and then give them to their daughter. The next step is to buy the Stitch stuffed animal and give it to their son. If the kids want to switch, so be it, but I doubt they will.

I am a boy who can’t stand the Transformers universe and really loves the Lilo & Stitch movies. Give me that doll any day of the week.

Also Read: Amazon entrance in Southeast Asia is an immense opportunity for startups that can adapt

There you have it, ten ideas to have a fun time on Amazon Prime Now and mess with your friends along the way.

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Condom: Copyright: akz / 123RF Stock Photo
Stuffed Animals: Copyright: windsurfer62 / 123RF Stock Photo
Clapboard: Copyright: jagcz / 123RF Stock Photo
Transformers: Copyright: lnzyx / 123RF Stock Photo

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