Seth Meyers discussed an ominous new bill signed by the Florida governor Ron DeSantis on Thursday, the latest Republican-backed voting restrictions bill to become law in a contentious election state. “Rather than appeal to a majority of voters, [Republicans] would rather just rig the game so they always win,” the Late Night host said. “They are trying to codify Trump’s big election lie and make it canon.”
In a move Meyers called “bizarre and deeply unnerving”, DeSantis signed the bill, which imposes new limits on voting by mail and ballot drop boxes, live in an exclusive for Fox News. “I’m sure [the bill is] bipartisan if they’re signing it exclusively on Fox News,” Meyers deadpanned. “It’s like your spouse saying they have something to tell you, and they want to do it live on Maury.
“Signing the bill on Fox & Friends really gives the game away, doesn’t it?” Meyers continued. “It’s like when a loan shark knocks on your door with two goons on either side – you know what he’s there for.”
“It’s truly shocking to see the business of government turn into a rightwing cable news exclusive,” he added. “It’s like livestreaming an emergency heart surgery on eBaum’s World right next to videos called ‘Top Ten Skateboard Fails’ and ‘Dude Poops His Pants in a Del Taco’.”
“The GOP has attempted to rebrand itself as a populist, pro-worker’s party, but it’s all a giant fraud,” Meyers concluded. “All they really care about is dismantling democracy and purging anyone who disagrees with the unhinged lie that Donald Trump actually won the 2020 election. They don’t care what it means for you, so long as Trump can say, ‘I feel great.’”
On The Daily Show, Trevor Noah investigated another Republican attempt to undermine the integrity of US elections: a GOP-backed audit into the 2020 election in Arizona, run by supporters of the former president’s baseless election fraud claims. “You might think it’s crazy to have election conspiracy theorists in charge of an election, but to me, this makes perfect sense,” Noah joked. “Because don’t forget: this is the third audit they’ve done in Arizona.
“At this point, you aren’t going through the effort of counting again unless you know the guys you’re hiring are gonna give you the results you want. It’s just smart.
“If you’re wondering how a bunch of conspiracy nuts are going to turn a Biden win into a Trump win, the answer is in the craziest way possible,” Noah added, as Arizona’s auditors have reportedly (unsuccessfully) searched ballots for bamboo fibers, watermarks and UV light symbols as proof of QAnon-fueled conspiracy theories.
“America is not real,” Noah sadly laughed. “These dudes are searching the ballots for bamboo like a bunch of starving pandas. Like who are these people? Sometimes I wish that I was a conspiracy theorist, because there is never a dull moment. They can turn a regular-ass Thursday into an Indiana Jones movie like this,” he joked, snapping his fingers.
And in Los Angeles, Jimmy Kimmel mocked Caitlyn Jenner’s appearance on Sean Hannity’s Fox News shows as part of her nascent gubernatorial campaign for California. “There was no town and no hall but there was Sean Hannity, pretending to be interested in Caitlyn’s take on a variety of subjects, including her inexplicable affection for Donald Trump,” said Kimmel, cueing a clip in which the former Olympic athlete and prominent trans reality TV star praised Trump as a disruptor who “shook the system up”.
“He shook the system so hard he lost custody of it,” Kimmel joked. “Child Protective Services had to come in and stop him from shaking the system.”
Kimmel also blasted Jenner’s comments about homeless people, which she suggested are an inconvenience to her and her wealthy friends.
“My friends are leaving California,” Jenner said, discussing a friend from her private airplane hangar. “He was packing up his hangar and I said, ‘Where are you going?’ And he says, ‘I’m moving to Sedona, Arizona: I can’t take it any more. I can’t walk down the streets and see the homeless.’”
“Ah, homeless people: can’t walk around them, can’t fly over them,” Kimmel deadpanned in response.
“Is it transphobic to call a trans person an ignorant a-hole?” he asked. “Or does calling that trans person an ignorant a-hole – even though she happens to be a trans person – show that we don’t discriminate against ignorant a-holes, no matter what their gender orientation? It’s a tough one. I don’t know, I guess we’ll let the internet decide tomorrow.”