The new rules of age-appropriate dressing
On the morning of the shoot for this story, I was running around in a bit of a flap, with a very short window remaining to get rigged out in a casual yet effortlessly chic artiste-at-home outfit in which to greet the photographer and make-up artist.
I knew it had to be based on my trusty Juicy Couture track pants, but when I went to put them on, they weren’t in the cupboard. Why? Because my 19-year-old daughter was wearing them. Again.
She has to yank in the tape inside the waistband to get them to fit, but she loves wearing these exquisitely comfy, yet somehow elegant trousers just as much as I do. We fight over them.
And while she may be several sizes smaller than me, as well as 43 years younger, this isn’t the only clothing style we both wear.
Maggie’s jacket is from Zara, the flared dark denim jeans are ancient treasures from Dorothy Perkins. Her boots are by Prada (15 years old) and the hoop earrings are by Pearl & Queenie
We both adore dark denim, a flared trouser (both stretch and jean-style), a black Barbour, leopard print, sequins, fluffy feather stoles, fake-fur hats, felt hats, a feature gilet, studded belts, cowboy boots, RM Williams boots, brothel creepers and Birkenstocks.
I sometimes pinch her Le Chameau wellies (she’s very horsey). She sometimes kidnaps my designer handbags. As Peggy said, when I asked her if she ever found the way I dress “muttony” and embarrassing: “No, I love that you wear cool things. There is more for me to steal.”
In terms of theft, it is far more often my gear that gets lifted – but only because I can’t fit into hers. If I could squeeze my Michelin Man-middle into her H&M sequined dress, I would.
Likewise, the only reason I don’t echo her key wardrobe pieces of cropped blouses with voluminous sleeves and prairie dresses is because they don’t suit me. Believe me, I’ve tried.
Which is why I was bewildered by the recent hoo-ha from the Mutton Police about Sarah Jessica Parker wearing a pair of dungarees at the age of 56.
The first thing I thought when I saw the pictures of her in the cropped white overalls was “Not fair! Why can’t I wear those?” My daughter has a pair in exactly the same style, in red.
But just as with the prairie dresses, the reason I can’t follow bib-and-braces suit is not because I’m six years older even than the Sex in the City/And Just Like That... actress and therefore officially too disgustingly ancient to wear dungarees. It’s simply because they have never suited my short and top-heavy body shape.
I’ve been trying them on since I was 14 years old and they have never looked good on me. They never will. But I thought Ms Parker looked brilliant in them, as she does in everything, because she’s just as amazing a clothes horse in middle age, as she was at 33, when SATC burst into our lives in 1998.
Her character’s eccentric dress sense – tulle tutus for daywear particularly sticks in the mind – was the visual personality of the show, in perfect keeping with its subject of modern women working things out on their own terms. And while we still have to wait a couple of weeks (drums fingers on desk) to see if the revived show and its characters are still relevant and relatable 20 years on, that is still the only metric that should dictate what we wear.
What feels right for each one of us as an individual.
Well, that’s what I think, but to check if the younger generation find it grotesque to see the clothes they wear on older people (ones they can’t steal them from), I asked my daughter what she thought of SJP’s dungarees.
“She looked great,” said Peggy, with enthusiasm. “She’s a New Yorker, she can wear whatever she wants, and why would people be down on older women in dungarees? That’s Donna in Mamma Mia!” – name uttered with holy reverence. “It’s an iconic look. People go as her to fancy-dress parties, in tribute.”
Then, after further thought, she did come up with one look she’s not keen on for more mature women.
“I don’t like it so much,” she said, “when older women wear sexy-sexy clothes with lots of booby action. Actually, I don’t really like that look on anyone.”
So it seems that the idea of rules about who should wear what at certain ages seems as irrelevant to the younger generation as it does to people like me.
Really, declaring age as a guidance for what we should – and more importantly the meanly negative shouldn’t – wear is as relevant as dictating it by star signs, or that seasonal-colours nonsense that was such a fad in the 1980s.
Blonde and blue eyed, I was assigned “summer” when I took the test to write a feature about it in my early 20s. This meant I should – that finger-wagging word again – wear pink and other vapid pastels, the colours most guaranteed to make me feel fat and frumpy at that stage. (Although now, oddly, I’m tentatively starting to embrace them, but only in a subversive way.)
In retrospect, I actually think that silly test did me a favour, confirming that I was right to stick to the clothing colours and styles that I felt good in at the time, which was black, black and black, with leopard print for levity. Forty years later, I have swapped out black for ultra-dark navy (with increasing forays into khaki), because by my own measure black is a bit harsh against my older complexion. And, probably more importantly, I wore it for so long, I’m just bored of it.
Also, in the 1980s it was still edgy to wear all black, Yohji Yamamoto-style, whereas now it’s completely normal among the civilian population, and therefore less interesting to me. It’s not making any kind of a statement.
There’s a similar story with leopard print, which used to be the mark of the rebel outsider, but is now (slightly annoyingly) as mainstream as stripes. To counter this, I now generally wear it in multiples in one outfit – all different prints, which is the rebellious point. Eight different leopard-print pieces in one look is my personal best. So far.
My daughter has now adopted this style, too. Copying it from me. So, if that’s muttony, pass the mint sauce
Dalila and Yasmine Clemson
Dalila, 53, and Yasmine, 24, share a flair for looking completely relaxed in serious designer tailoring, sporting Gucci trouser suits with the insouciance most of us would feel in Primark trackies
‘Our style is understated smart-casual. We both have the same philosophy for dressing,” says Dalila.
“For me,” says Yasmine, who is the co-ordinator at a Harley Street eye clinic and so needs to look pulled together for clients in her workplace, “just like for my mum, quality is more important than quantity. I can’t get into fast fashion. I’ve worn the same style since I was nine. On a non-school uniform day in Year 9, I’d be in a blazer with my sequin trousers.”
Their knack for looking superbly elegant but never uptight comes from a combination of DNA and deep immersion in the serious end of the fashion world – and being very beautiful doesn’t hurt, either.
Dalila is French – always an advantage when it comes to pulling off relaxed chic – and store director of Gucci’s Sloane Street flagship, after a 30-year career in luxury fashion retail, working for Giorgio Armani, Fendi and Bottega Veneta, among others.
Even an equivalent number of years living in the scruffy UK hasn’t dented her standards, although she says comfort is as crucial to her as elegance.
“Comfort is very important to us both,” she says. “It is important how you feel in clothes. That shows in the way you wear them. If you are uncomfortable, you won’t look good. We like unstructured pieces and layering – coats, cashmere…”
Talking of which, the white cashmere coat Yasmine is wearing in the pictures is a prize piece of Dalila’s from Bottega Veneta. “I’m so excited to get to wear it,” says Yasmine.
Dalila shows me how the superb fabric of the coat is unlined, so it pulls in tightly with the belt, creating a very flattering line. “It is wonderful to wear over an evening dress,” she says.
Comfort is also crucial for her in footwear. “I’m on my feet all day at work, I can’t wear cheap shoes.”
So, lucky for her that Gucci makes such a superb range of trainers – which they both wear with great aplomb.
But while Dalila spends her days surrounded by the latest looks from Gucci’s Milan catwalks, which she fully appreciates and loves advising clients about, she is careful about what she chooses to add to her own collection.
“After years in fashion,” she says, “I am much more experimental than I used to be. I used to wear only navy and now I love colour – particularly green and orange – but I do like to have a timeless wardrobe. This means when I am going out to a big event, I never plan in advance what I’m going to wear. I just decide as I get dressed, because I have lots to choose from and my size hasn’t fluctuated. Over the years, I have built up long dresses, bags, shoes, costume jewellery, and it all works.”
This philosophy of choosing timeless pieces – and looking after them, as French women are so good at doing – means there are lots of lovely things to be passed down to the next generation.
“It’s like a conveyor belt,” says Yasmine, looking happy. “Mum wears it and then it comes to me.”
Party Dressing For the Sartorially Shy
Tips to help the quiet dresser crank up the volume
Wear it down, before you wear it up
Throw on your party thing to put the bins out, wear it with wellies to walk the dog, leave it on the floor overnight... Show that uppity piece of clothing who’s boss, and you will be wearing it, not the other way round
One great thing
If you have one swish thing you feel comfortable in, wear it to everything. You can switch up the other details to ring the changes, and as soon as all your pals see you arriving in it, they will immediately feel the party has started
Splash and stash
Add arrival jazz to your look with items you can later tear off and put in the cloakroom, or behind a chair. Fun earrings, a bold stole, a loud, beaded bag
Scent secrets
Perfume can have a powerful effect on mood – so find one that makes you feel like a wild adventuress and spritz with abandon
Comfort-blanket bases
Wear one thing you feel really safe in and layer more party-tastic pieces over it. Your favourite cardigan can go to the ball in cahoots with the right costume jewellery
Eight ageless party picks to put you instantly in the mood (for dancing)
The secret to party dressing is to wear at least one thing that makes you smile as you put it on. We’re not talking flashing reindeer antlers, rather things that are inherently chic, but have an added frothy element that makes them fun. The clothing equivalent of a glass of champagne
Sequins
Anything sequined, from a headband to a full suit (an ambition of mine), immediately puts you in a dancing mood. M&S has some excellent blazers.
Sequin ruched sleeve blazer, £69, marksandspencer.com
Feathers
The most flattering thing you can wear near your face is a “flouff” of marabou. Instant Hollywood glamour in a stole, shrug, or trim.
Yves Salomon feathered satin vest, £250, net-a-porter.com
Satin
Velvet is the classic, but have you tried to dance in velvet trousers? Satin was born to disco, the slipperiness perfect for shape throwing, the look louche.
Copper satin bias-cut skirt, £39.20, coastfashion.com
Statement jewellery
An outrageous piece is an instant lift. Don’t wear more than one item at a time – unless you make a thing of it: an arm of bangles or five brooches.
Yaa Yaa London purple green gemstone earrings, £49, wolfandbadger.com
Fringe
Instant frivolity in physical form. The flappers knew how to party.
Asos Edition sequin and fringe midi pencil skirt, £64, asos.com
Trainers
It’s fine to wear a pair of great party sneakers. Or if you want heel lift without torture, try glamour ankle boots. Much more supportive, and great for tearing up the dance floor.
Edie Star Trainers, £75, johnlewis.com
Colour
All black is a bore. Fine for cocktails or dinner, but a party-party demands out-and-out colour.
Maxi dress and belt, £250, meandem.com
If you normally wear plain colours, slipping into a bold print immediately takes you somewhere else. Somewhere fun. Works best with silks or satins.
Dries Van Noten floral-pattern crepe blazer, £905, selfridges.com
