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As Robert De Niro reportedly splits from his wife, a divorce lawyer explains how a marriage breaks down after 20 years

Robert De Niro and his wife have split after 20 years. [Photo: Getty]
Robert De Niro and his wife have split after 20 years. [Photo: Getty]

Robert De Niro has split from wife Grace Hightower after more than two decades of marriage, according to several US publications including The Hollywood Reporter, TMZ and People.

The pair have been living in separate homes and are expected to publicly announce the break-up in the coming weeks, according to Page Six.

The average length of a marriage which ends in divorce is 12 years, according to the Office of National Statistics, meaning De Niro and his wife have lasted considerably longer than most.

But what makes a couple divorce after all this time? We spoke to Trudi Featherstone, a partner, accredited mediator and collaborative lawyer at Goodman Ray.

She told Yahoo Style UK: “It is difficult to say why couples separate after a seemingly successful marriage of over 20 years.”

“There are a multitude of reasons. Generally however a separation is triggered by a change in the couple’s home life or by the realisation as couples approach the later phase of life that there is no reason to stay in an unhappy or unfulfilling relationship.

Divorce can also be triggered when a couple have grown up children. De Niro and Hightower have two children: Elliott, 20, and Helen Grace, 6.

Featherstone adds: “Perhaps the children were the glue that held the couple together. Once kids leave home there can be a gulf where that parental role once was and couples have to work again at their marriage and direct relationship because it takes on a different focus.

Spending 20 years together, there is inevitably much work that needs to be done to break down a life together, and this should be done as amicably as possible, says Featherstone.

“Whatever the reason for a separation after such a long marriage the important aspect is to try to resolve the issues amicably and without increasing hostility. A 20 year intermingled life must be dismantled and that is a challenge.

“Mediation and/or dispute resolution models can greatly assist that process. Far better to use that route and exit with grace than the litigious route which can cause emotional shock waves to the extended family and the couple’s children.”

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