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Ranking Every ‘Steven Universe’ Season 3 Episode, From Good to Dazzling (Videos)

Ranking Every ‘Steven Universe’ Season 3 Episode, From Good to Dazzling (Videos)

There aren’t very many TV shows, kids’ or otherwise, with a success rate as high as that of “Steven Universe.” Even the “worst” episodes of the series are fun, silly romps that play with the Crystal Gems’ interests and foibles or shed some more light on the residents of Beach City. With this summer’s slew of new episodes now complete, here’s our picks for this season’s best episodes.

24.) “Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service”: Like we said, not every episode can have a big battle or serious character introspection. Sometimes it’s fun just to watch Steven help fight a nightmare cheese monster while making references to “Nightmare on Elm Street 3” and “End of Evangelion.”

23.) “Hit The Diamond”: And sometimes, when villains arrive on Earth, isn’t it more fun to challenge them to a game of baseball instead of whipping out the weapons? “Steven Universe” takes on the national pastime with this episode that is fully aware of how ridiculous it is.

22.) “Beach City Drift”: In a nod to the “Fast & Furious” series, Steven and Connie defend the honor of Greg and Japanese hatchbacks everywhere in a street race against local scumbag Kevin.

21.) “Restaurant Wars”: Steven’s attempts to order off-menu at the Fry Shack accidentally kick off a feud between his favorite food joints. He enlists the Crystal Gems in his quest to defuse the situation, giving the chance for the animators to draw Pearl and Garnet in some alternate outfits.

20.) “Drop Beat Dad”: In the second-best Sour Cream episode of the summer, Steven helps the aspiring DJ with his plans to hold a big beach show, only for his deadbeat dad Marty to show up and try to make a buck off his dreams.

19.) “Steven Floats”: Steven gets trapped in the air after he inherits his mother’s floating powers in an episode filled with visual gags. But…if the Gems could jump up to Steven, couldn’t they just grab him and pull him back to the ground?

18.) “The New Lars”: Steven’s strongest quality is his desire to help people with their problems, but he has much to learn about how to help people and when it isn’t needed. That lesson comes in this body swap episode, when Steven accidentally switches places with Lars and tries to fix his relationship with Sadie.

17.) “Super Watermelon Island”: The first episode of season 3 kicked things off with a knockdown brawl between the Gems and Malachite, with the battle lightened by the presence of the silliest idea “Steven Universe” has ever come up with: Steven’s tribe of sentient watermelons.

16.) “Gem Hunt”: Through the first two seasons, we’ve seen Connie Maheswaran get slowly introduced into the Crystal Gems’ battle, allowing the show to introduce some non-superpowered humans as active members of the show’s central conflict. Season 3 sees her join the Crystal Gems full-time as Pearl and Steven accompany her on her first mission.

15.) “Beta”: This episode sees Peridot complete her transition from a major villain to little green clown. She’s added a bowtie to her outfit and discovered on her own the wonders of mixed media art, which Lapis calls “meepmorp.” Speaking of Lapis, her deadpan response to Peridot’s exuberance is going to be a fun source of laughs for many future episodes.

14.) “Same Old World”: The new relationship between Peridot, Lapis, and their new home began in this episode, where Steven introduces Lapis to the wonders of Earth while getting in a few cracks at New Jersey.

13.) “Barn Mates”: Then, in the following episode, Lapis discovers that she has to be roommates with Peridot, which leaves her seething at the fact that she has to live with the gem that dragged her away from Homeworld. Steven does his best to help Peridot show how sorry she is, but again learns a lesson about helping others sort things out at their own pace.

12.) “Monster Reunion”: In a callback to the show’s very first episode, Steven heals the corrupted Centipeedle enough to learn about how she got turned into a monster. This episode gives us more backstory on the Gems’ colonization of Earth through some impromptu art therapy, as well as some subtle messages about recovering from PTSD.

11.) “Alone At Sea”: Lapis gains the strength to say no to Jasper and the harmful relationship they once had in an episode littered with bad ocean puns from Greg.

10.) “Greg The Babysitter”: This season’s flashback episode shows a young Greg taking care of an infant Sour Cream, who apparently was born cool. The highlight is an impassioned and thought provoking speech from Rose Quartz about growing up. On a show with shapeshifting, flying, and magical swords, it’s the ability to invent and reinvent oneself that is viewed as an incredible power.

9.) “Back To The Moon”: But as we learn in the season’s final episodes, not everything about Rose Quartz was admirable. In a big twist, it is revealed that Rose killed her master, Pink Diamond, during the Gem Rebellion. For the staunchly pacifist Steven, this new discovery about his mother’s past rocks him to his core.

8.) “Bubbled”: This new truth is further developed in a bottle episode finale that shows Steven floating in space with Eyeball, the Ruby who saw Rose shatter Pink Diamond.

7.) “Gem Drill”: Season 2 saw Peridot join the Crystal Gems to stop The Cluster, a group of shattered gems buried deep beneath the Earth’s crust that threatened to destroy the planet. “Gem Drill” pays off that story arc spectacularly, as Steven and Peridot alone drill down to take on the cluster, with Steven finding an unexpected solution.

6.) “Too Short To Ride”: Speaking of Peridot, her best gags come from the episode “Too Short To Ride,” where she’s introduced to smart tablets, the Internet, Twitter, and most importantly, her own Gem powers. “Steven Universe” writer Lauren Zuke even created an actual account for Peridot, which frequently updates during new episodes.

5.) “Crack The Whip”: Since Steven performed his first gem fusion with Connie, fans have been dying to see the androgynous Stevonnie ride into battle with Rose’s sword and shield. That’s just what they got in “Crack The Whip,” though Stevonnie’s triumph became the impetus for a new internal struggle for Amethyst.

4.) “Steven vs. Amethyst”: As Steven gets stronger, Amethyst comes down with a serious case of Imposter Syndrome, completely convinced that she’s a weak Crystal Gem. Cue a big showdown between her and Steven, as they both try to convince each other how much cooler the other is.

3.) “Earthlings”: Amethyst’s self-esteem crisis comes to a head here, along with Jasper’s addiction to fusion, in an episode where Steven and Amethyst finally bond over their struggle to live up to the greatness of the other Crystal Gems and form the show’s newest fusion: Smoky Quartz.

2.) “Mr. Greg”: It’s a tall order for a show with 11-minute episodes to try to do a musical episode and make every song memorable. Yet that is just what Rebecca Sugar and her team do in an episode that finally resolves Pearl’s resentment for winning Rose Quartz’s heart. Pearl’s show-stealing song, “It’s Over, Isn’t It?”, is a powerful lament of love lost that might just top “Stronger Than You” as the best song in “Steven Universe” history.

1.) “Bismuth”: The best episode of season 3 is also the series’ 100th. Steven accidentally happens upon one of the original Crystal Gems, Bismuth (played by “Orange Is The New Black” star Uzo Aduba). Her return seems to be a joyful one, until she reveals the reason why she disappeared. “Bismuth” presents kids with war’s ultimate moral dilemma: would you be willing to kill to protect those you love, and how much life are you willing to take. Considering what we now know about Rose’s past, “Steven Universe” probably isn’t done asking that question.