Former supermodel Paulina Porizkova has branded her omission from her late husband Ric Ocasek's will an act of "betrayal".
The couple was in the midst of divorce proceedings at the time of The Cars frontman's death in September (19), but the stars had still been living together at their marital home in New York City, where Porizkova found him dead following a surgical procedure - a discovery she claims was the "worst moment" of her life.
It was subsequently reported that Ocasek had purposefully amended his will in the weeks leading up to his passing from heart disease, accusing Porizkova of having "abandoned" him, and it's tainted her mourning process ever since.
"It made the grieving process really, really tricky," she confessed in an interview on America's CBS Sunday Morning show.
"I would love to be able to be sad and miss him and not also feel this incredible hurt and betrayal."
The pair had separated more than a year before the musician's demise, but Porizkova - who was 19 when she met Ocasek, then 40, back in 1984 - revealed she wasn't the one who wanted a divorce, so she continued to live with the singer, the father of her two sons, in the hopes of maintaining a close bond.
"He was still the man that I loved and that I had grown up with. And I couldn't really imagine life without him," Porizkova said.
She insists she has no idea why Ocasek chose to cut her out of his will completely, and it's a question she will forever wrestle with: "I'm never gonna get an answer. And that sucks," she added.
Porizkova is still trying to work through the grief of Ocasek's unexpected death, but it's been an emotional rollercoaster as she adjusts to life without her longtime love.
"Yesterday I was kind of having a nervous breakdown," she laughed. "And today I'm feeling a little bit stronger. And in a way, this is freeing me. It's really, really scary. I didn't necessarily want it. But this is what I got. And so, I have to learn how to use my wings now."
Porizkova officially filed court papers seeking a share of Ocasek's estate, worth at least $5.1 million (£3.8 million), in December.
She wasn't the only family member snubbed in the 75 year old's will - he also appeared to have cut out two of his six sons from a previous relationship. They have yet to formally reveal if they will challenge the decision.
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