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Is it ok to ask for money instead of a present at your child’s birthday party?

Is it ok to ask for parents to ask for a cash donation rather than a present for their child’s birthday? [Photo: Getty]
Is it ok to ask for parents to ask for a cash donation rather than a present for their child’s birthday? [Photo: Getty]

Children’s birthday party politics has been creating quite the buzz of late.

Last month a heated parenting debate was sparked online after a mum gave back her daughter’s party bag with a note complaining about the contents.

And earlier this month parents called for tougher measures on party bags after a survey revealed a third know of a child who has been injured by a toy given out at the end of a party.

Now the subject of birthday party presents is creating controversy after a mum detailed her shock at being asked for a cash donation instead of a gift.

Gift-giving etiquette is something of a parenting flashpoint. If your child is a party guest there’s the issue of how much you should spend and what sort of present might be suitable.

And if you’re organising a party it’s whether or not you should specify what your child would like, or run the risk of receiving a shed load of plastic tut you’re going to have to find a place for.

Which is why some parents are increasingly opting to request cash in their party invites so their little ones can put the money towards something they really want.

But it doesn’t always go down well.

The tricky topic was up for discussion this week on Mamamia‘s parenting podcast, This Glorious Mess, after host Holly Wainwright detailed a recent experience of being asked for cash instead of a gift.

Holly explained that her child was recently invited to a twin boys’ 5th birthday party.

“In lieu of a present, please give $10 cash each, half of which the boys will donate to a charity, and spend the other half on something they will save up for,” the invitation read.

Holly admitted to being pretty shocked by the directness of the request, but her co-host, Andrew Daddo could see an argument for asking for money.

“After I got up off the floor, I did think it was a good idea. It’s only $10. And you don’t have to put any thought into it,” he explained.

Holly went on to explain that some parents weren’t so keen on the idea, having told Holly they had already decided on a present idea for the boys and this seemed like a way of saying they weren’t very good at choosing gifts.

Is it rude to ask for a cash donation instead of a present? [Photo: Getty]
Is it rude to ask for a cash donation instead of a present? [Photo: Getty]

The podcast also discussed the idea that giving cash takes away the special occasion feeling of a party – something kids only experience once a year.

“We are taking away a lot of the magic of [kids] just getting to open a whole pile of crap,” Holly said.

It isn’t the first time the topics of money giving at kids parties has caused controversy. Earlier this year a mum kicked-off a parenting debate about whether it is right to charge children to attend a birthday party.

Rumi Ali, 29, a single mother of twin boys, invited 60 of their friends to a party at Fun Valley to celebrate their fifth birthday and asked parents to contribute £6 towards the cost.

And Myleene Klass also found herself on the receiving end of criticism after an Instagram rant about a parent who asked for donations for one big present for her child’s birthday.

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