Miley Survives a Cover of Her Song on "The Voice"
Every few weeks, NBC’s The Voice, which should be called The Yell, "premieres” yet again. This week was the “premiere” of the Knockout Rounds, which means the singers performed a solo song of their choosing. This basically boiled down to three solid hours of mistakes.
For the “premiere” of the Knockout Rounds, Miley is dressed somberly in an all-black, ankle-length, collared dress with “Team Miley” scrawled on her left shoulder as though she’s in a bowling league. She maintains a bow in her hair with child-like clips in the back of her head.
This week, Miley only had one round of Knockouts, but she worked hard for her money and sat to watch hours of civilians putting on a talent show. Sundance from Team Blake even dared to cover Miley’s“The Climb.” He sounded like a vibrating barn animal, but Miley sat proudly, mouthing along lyrics and complimenting him once he finished. Minding her manners, our Miley curtsied for him as well. Sundance wins the Knockout round, but Adam steals his competition Josh, who sang “My Maria." Adam jokes that he’ll beat Blake with a country contestant of his own, and Miley winks at the prospect. Excited for a country dual.
During Team Alicia’s Knockouts, Miley gets emotional when Alicia sends the undoubtedly sweet but moderately talented sisters Whitney and Shannon home. Throughout their performance of "I Won’t Give Up," Miley keeps her arms close to her body and claps meekly once they end.
When the two exit the stage, Miley holds back tears and says, “Oh god, here I go.”
Miley’s team is up for their first and only Knockout round for the week, and she pits Ali against her newest team member, Lauren. In footage from rehearsals with key advisers Faith Hill and Tim McGraw, Miley wears her culturally appropriated cheongsam style dress, high bun, and hair sticks. She pairs this look with white leggings and flat shoes. Aside from looking a fool, Miley looks like a high-school theater teacher who has just taken her first trip abroad and is excited to teach new movement techniques to her students.
Like Miley’s outfit, her team pairing is unfortunate. She’s placed her best singer, Ali, against her worst, Lauren, and it shows. While Lauren performs, Miley sits at the edge of her seat, anxiously smiles, says, “She’s great?” to Alicia, gulps, and widens her eyes. At the end of Lauren’s performance, Miley mouths “good, perfect,” and makes a “stop” motion with her hand.
However, when Ali performs, Miley can’t keep off of her feet; she moves her body along to the music and pumps her arms up at the finish. Flexing her acting skills, Miley pretends to struggle over who to choose. She says Ali has the ability to win the show but that Lauren has a “great smile and personality.” For added effect, Miley says “yokes,” which I assume was meant to be “yikes” in a British accent. Before making her final decision, Miley looks to Alicia like a child in need and asks, “OK, now I have to do the hard part?” Alicia nods “yes.” In the end, Miley gives Ali the win and winks at her.
Directly after crowning Ali the winner, Miley is left alone in the judges chairs, which she enjoys.
For the second half of the episode, Miley is only blown away by a few contestants. She thinks that Team Alicia’s Courtnie and Wé offered some of the best performances of the night, and applauds Wé’s head-bobbing skills.
Unfortunately, like me, Miley was completely emotionally tortured by Team Adam’s Dave and his horrible rendition of “Like I Can.” Miley literally held herself throughout the performance and even told Adam to “breathe.” However, redemption from Team Adam was found when Miley was impressed by his team member Riley and his cover of “Haven’t Met You Yet.” After Adam chooses Riley as his winner, Miley jealously says,”I’m hovering because I was going to steal you. I’m mad!”
Team Blake opens episode two, and Miley’s impressed with Courtney’s cover of “River Deep Mountain High.” Miley stands for Courtney and shouts, “Damn! I’m scared of her!” She offered to take her on tour ... as a backup singer.
Jason Segal Ponciano from Team Adam sings “I See Fire,” and for no reason at all, Miley gives him a sultry wink during his performance and calls him “cool.” Though he’s stimulated her in some way, Miley is also partial to his competition, child star Billy Gilman, whom Miley listened to growing up. (This also confuses her because why is he even on this show?)
The night ends on a high note for Miley. She steals Belle from Team Alicia, declaring the steal the “fastest in Voice history.” More than Belle’s voice, Miley loves her style and bangs, and she’s inspired to grow from their work together. Miley finishes the night by hopping out of her chair to dance for her fellow judges.
See you all next week for the final Knockout Rounds and more of our dear Miley. #ThisIsTheYELL.
Follow Mariah on Twitter.
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