Merry, Merry: 80 Christmas Instagram Caption Ideas for When You’re in an Eggnog Fog

Samantha Grindell, Mariah Schlossmann
·5-min read
Photo credit: Hearst Owned
Photo credit: Hearst Owned

From Cosmopolitan

You’ve hung the stockings by the chimney with care, you’re filled to the brim with eggnog, and you managed to take a sneak peek at the gifts your fam got you without ruining any of the wrapping paper. Basically, Christmas is destined to be a success, and all that's left is for your dad to try and convince you that Die Hard is actually a Christmas movie. Bruce Willis and action? I don't think so, dad.

Tap back into that warm and fuzzy holiday magic by, what else, scrolling Instagram. Need the perfect caption for your post of the fam in matching pajamas? Struggling to zero in on something witty amid your Christmas morning anticipation? Can’t figure out what to write for when you finally catch Santa on camera eating the cookies you left out for yourself, tyvm? We gotchu. Consider us your holiday Instagram elves, or something.

The key to the Christmas post is not to be TOO cheesy. A holiday that revolves around twinkly lights and sentimental moments is likely going to bring at least a small dose of mushiness to your photos. So you don't need to go way overboard with a sickly sweet caption that will have even your BFFs thinking, "why didn't she just go with a funny caption..." You don't want your followers to do a major eye roll and keep scrolling without giving you that double tap. It's basically like giving you a lump of coal, if you ask me.

So read on for 80 captions that are perfect for the most wonderful time of the year, and remember who to thank when the Likes start pouring in. (HI!) In the words of the big man himself, merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

If you’re a comedian

  1. Happy Mariah Carey day!

  2. The only day of the year I’m a morning person.

  3. Did we ever consider that maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate?

  4. Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle.

  5. What happens under the mistletoe stays under the mistletoe.

  6. The tree isn’t the only thing getting lit this year.

  7. Dear Santa, define “nice.”

  8. Consider this photo my Christmas card to you all.

  9. What did one ornament say to another? “I like hanging with you.”

  10. I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.

  11. Relationship status: single and ready to jingle.

  12. Christmas cheer? I thought you said Christmas beer...

  13. All I want for Christmas is you food.

  14. To-do list: eat, drink, be merry, nap.

If you’re a pun queen

  1. No laws when you’re drinking for Mr. Claus.

  2. I’m dreaming of a wine Christmas.

  3. Sleigh all day.

  4. Go elf yourself.

  5. Sleighing the game.

  6. All spruced up.

  7. Resting Grinch face.

  8. Sleigh my name, sleigh my name.

  9. I’m Claus-trophobic.

  10. Say it ain’t snow.

  11. Elfie time.

  12. Have your (s)elf a merry little Christmas.

  13. Up to snow good.

  14. Me everyday: slay. Me in December: sleigh.

If you love quotes

  1. “Santa’s coming? I KNOW HIM!” —Elf

  2. “Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!” —Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

  3. “Do you want to build a snowman?” —Frozen

  4. “I realized that Christmas is a time to be with people you love.” —Love Actually

  5. “Christmas isn’t just a day—it’s a frame of mind.” —Miracle on 34th Street

  6. “Look, Charlie, let’s face it. We all know that Christmas is a big commercial racket. It’s run by a big eastern syndicate, you know.” —A Charlie Brown Christmas

  7. “I smell snow.” —Lorelai Gilmore

  8. “First we’ll make snow angels for two hours, then we’ll go ice skating, then we’ll eat a whole roll of Toll House cookie dough as fast as we can, and then to finish, we’ll snuggle.” —Elf

  9. “Blast this Christmas music. It’s joyful and triumphant.” —The Grinch

  10. “It’s Christmas Eve. It’s the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we smile a little easier, we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be.” —Scrooged

  11. "That's what Christmas memories are made from. They're not planned, they're not scheduled, nobody puts them in their Blackberry. They just happen." —Deck the Halls

  12. "The Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. Maybe Christmas, he thought...doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps...means a little bit more." —How the Grinch Stole Christmas

  13. "Seeing is believing, but sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see." —The Polar Express

If you brought your boo home for the holidays

  1. Meet me under the mistletoe.

  2. I love you snow much.

  3. The holly to my jolly.

  4. It was love at frost sight.

  5. Sweater weather is better when we’re together.

  6. Blame it on the mistletoe.

  7. A December to remember.

  8. The nut to my cracker.

  9. If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard.

  10. I only have ice for you.

  11. Some people are worth melting for.

  12. On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

  13. Love the giver more than the gift.

If you’re bonding with your fam

  1. ’Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, everyone was scrolling through Insta.

  2. Being related to me is their gift this year.

  3. There’s snow place like home.

  4. The reason for the season.

  5. Dear Santa, we can explain....

  6. Ho, ho, home for Christmas.

  7. ’Tis the season for matching pajamas.

  8. VIP Naughty List members.

  9. We’re just like a bunch of candy canes: sweet and slightly twisted.

  10. Happy holidays from Santa’s favorite elves.

  11. My presence is the present. You're welcome.

  12. Keep calm and keep the cocktails flowing.

  13. A family like you makes the season bright.

If you’re musical

  1. All I want for Christmas is you.

  2. Let it snow.

  3. All the jingle ladies.

  4. Have yourself a merry little Christmas.

  5. It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

  6. It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

  7. Baby, it’s cold outside.

  8. Hurry down the chimney tonight.

  9. There’s no place like home for the holidays.

  10. The feeling’s here that only comes this time of year.

  11. Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.

  12. I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.

  13. Santa Claus is coming to town.

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