What Meghan needs to know as she embarks on Royal life
With the wedding done and dusted for the Duchess of Sussex, now begins the serious, and not altogether easy, business of learning how to be a new royal. For someone who has known a very different kind of life far beyond the palace walls, it can be a steep learning curve, and something of a culture shock, too.
Meghan, as an actress, was a very free spirit, and one who has long enjoyed voicing her opinions. But as a member of the Royal family, she will no longer be permitted to involve herself politically in the way she always has. Expressing sympathy is fine; voicing shock and alarm is not.
At every step, the traps will be set. Out on the road, as the royals often are, there are myriad opportunities to trip up: a bystander asks a question, or even worse, a journalist. What do you reply? As someone who’s accustomed to sharing her thoughts, Meghan may not find it easy to avoid responding fully. The Prince of Wales likes to fall back on a simple “good morning” or “good afternoon”. His daughter-in-law must find her own way; no selfies, no autographs and no scratching in public.
She must also consider her wardrobe. Revealing tops are a no-no, as are short skirts and dresses. She’ll be under the microscope 24/7 and the cameras will never been far away.
There’s no popping to the shops in ripped jeans and a vest, no topless sunbathing where a long lens can reach, as the Duchess of Cambridge found out the hard way. Comfortable shoes are a must, of course, as she’ll be on her feet for long periods.
As a woman with a keen social conscience, Meghan has expressed an intention to throw herself into the work that comes with being a royal. But first she must do all her research. Every charity to which she gives her patronage must be managed correctly; it must have no skeletons in its closet. And she must consider how much time she can realistically devote to it.
Within the Palace itself, the rules are less strict than you’d imagine. The only member of the family to whom one must always curtsey is the Queen, as the Duke of Sussex will have told his wife previously.
Meghan has already had a taste of Christmas at Sandringham, and apart from the visits to Balmoral, there are few other non-negotiable fixtures in the family’s annual calendar. But while Meghan will want to see her mother as well, doing so won’t be straightforward. No longer can she simply hop on a plane; there will need to be all the security in place and the governments in question must be notified.
She might find some of this frustrating, and some in her position have occasionally come a cropper. The Duchess of York couldn’t do it: aged 26 when she married Prince Andrew, she already knew a life of freedom, and the constraints of royalty did not suit her well. The Princess of Wales, though young when she married, later stepped out of line when she spoke to Panorama and helped Andrew Morton with his tell-all book.
It is early days for Meghan, but so far she’s done well, moving on from her acting to embrace her new role. Challenging as this new life may be, I see no reason why she won’t do even better in the months and the years to come.
Dickie Arbiter is a former press secretary to the Queen
As told to Rosa Silverman
