How we live together: the family and the weekday lodger
Sarah
Having a weekday lodger seemed like a big shift, and we had loads of trepidation about a stranger living in our flat. But the financial benefits won over the awkwardness factor.
Eight years on, it works because we get on. We don’t see each other very often, but when we do it’s a pleasure. Alan is self-sufficient. He doesn’t want to be a flatmate, and we don’t want one. That – and total honesty – is the key.
We’ve gone from being a couple to a family with two children. When I was first pregnant, I was worried about what would happen, Alan-wise, when I went into labour. He said he’d go to a hotel. He understood instinctively.
The children, now three and five, adore Uncle Alan – although my friends think he’s imaginary. We met his family for the first time recently and I felt like I knew them already.
Alan
Our relationship is like one between neighbours rather than flatmates. We have distance and closeness, without it being awkward. We’re friends, but we don’t have to share chores. I work long hours and I eat out in the evenings with colleagues. I’m off home to Dublin to my own family at the weekend – my kids are grown-up.
It’s hugely important to me not to encroach on Mike and Sarah’s privacy, but at the same time, they’ve always included me. I thought about leaving when their children were born, but they said they’d love me to stay.
The kids love me – I love reading to them at bedtime and I have all the joy but none of the hard work. There’s a photo of them on my fridge at home.
If you have a story to tell about who you live with, email family@theguardian.com with Under one roof in the subject line
